anger

how inarguably aggrevating it is to awake
to find yourself eaten alive by an anger
so grand and destructive.
consumed in harmful thoughts you normally
would avoid to keep you from hurting;
how ironic to strive for so long in control
and then be bound in chains by it for
a reason you could not have avoided.
and instead of sleeping, you're terrified
of what the next day will bring -
whether the anger will spread out its branches
or hide away in the back of your internal shell.

you don't know who you are anymore,
you don't know just how strong you are.
you don't know whether you can retain
the fuel that keeps adding to the fire
when someone says the wrong thing
and then it happens:
you speak in devil tongue to the ones you love
and chew the love you have for them in a rotten mouth.

the sweet tastes turns to bitterness as it evolves
into your black saliva.

and you stangely feel intoxicated by the sudden
euphoric feeling you gain in return
for hurting someone you promised never to hurt.