Close your eyes
- remember-
Warm winds breathe
gently on your face.
Ocean salt flavors
your small mouth.
Tall grass cradles
your bronzed body
as you lay there
perfectly still
with freckles sprinkled
across your peaceful face.
Summer brought us to life
and as it started to fade
so did you...
I'm just the tan you lusted for
but failed to keep longer
than a week past Labour Day.
How I wished I could simply
sink into your skin and stay
part of you forever.
Now you were my sunburn:
hot whenever touched,
sensitive and on display.
But you started to peel
with the dead white skin.
>My summer skin<
With firelight setting your face aglow
we share one last night; one last kiss.
With our lips together, you drain me
of you, leaving me breathless and certain
that I could never win you over completely.
So I let you go...
off into the changing seasons
with nothing but our fading summer love
holding me together.
♥
Author notes
N a k a t r e a 
Prompt:Summer Skin - Death Cab For Cutie (Plans)
The lyrics are here: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Summer-Skin-lyrics-Death-Cab-For-Cutie/81E39668ECF297604825705700050831
*sigh* Reminds me of last summer.. but its tinged with more sorrow than I experienced.
I want this to feel heavy and warm like a summer breeze at sunset.
Thats what I was going for...
The feeling of summer love is bittersweet as I'm sure you might know.
You might want to listen to the song as you read this. and for your convenience I shall provide a lovely link!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgRjspGp9fY&feature=related
Enjoy ♥
Kat
A contest entry
- My eye ball itches and I have socks on fire! by Mister Mattia.
1500 points, ended July 21, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want Criticizim? Take A Look by HereComesTheSun.
700 points, ended July 28, 70 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Favourites by tsukiyo.
500 points, ended September 7, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any ways i could have possibly make this any better?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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hi
This is very very good. I love the way this was written and done keep da ink flowing. Its a alsome write and well done. Love the way u described love n summer together in the poem. Jus amazin and beautiful write. Your talent is awesome and amazing.
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thanks a lot
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A beautiful write about summer love. I really like how you compared everything to the changing seasons. Brilliant piece!
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WOW!
This is an excellent write, and very creative.
"I'm just the tan you lusted for
but failed to keep longer
than a week past Labour Day.
How I wished I could simply
sink into your skin and stay
part of you forever"
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thanks so much
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P: LOVED this piece.
fav line:
I'm just the tan you lusted for
but failed to keep longer
than a week past Labour Day.
How I wished I could simply
sink into your skin and stay
part of you forever.
among the most brilliant lines i have ever read
to me it was just plain brilliant.
i have nothing negative to say
thanks for entering
expect a trophy -
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That coming from you is like God personally coming out of the sky and telling you that you are amazing.
Thanks so much.
If only you knew how much your own work inspires mine. -
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wow im really flattered.
i honestly think you are a much better writer then myself. -
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not even.
you are a genius -
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haha not really. im just one of those poeple who heartbreak hit full steam and still hasnt fully recoverd
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Well well.
What a fine and stunning poem we have here.
Firstly - You've won me over withh your bittersweet words.
Secondly - You've picked a superb prompt.
Thirdly - Summer for me is sucking majorly at the moment but this poem seems to want to change that.
Excellent.
Thank you for entering. -
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wow! Thanks for the great review. I never expected that at all.
thanks for the HM too
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STOP WITH THE GENIUS
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you like it? thanks so much
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Oh my gosh, I love this. And Death Cab for Cutie is my favorite.
I think my favorite stanza is:
I'm just the tan you lusted for
but failed to keep longer
than a week past Labour Day.
How I wished I could simply
sink into your skin and stay
part of you forever.
It really reminded me of "Summer Skin".
Good work!
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thanks so much!!
I really love DCFC. they rock .
I like that stanza too...
Kat
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