six weeks of flab
grow over vinyl
lazer beams b/o/m/b/a/r/d
vertabra
L {4 & 5}
(@1800 degrees)
into submission;
tracks
laid flat
splat
road kill.
... smells
of flesh... feces
urine pissed
jeans
acrid
stench
splays
the h/o/u/r/s ................lying paralyzed
en-coffined...
wishes
prayers
cauterize
fragmented
pieces
wild
cherry
firecrackers
{the battle-s
scarred
soldiers}
f l y ............................................ at terminal velocity.
July 4th
gasps
s h a t t e r e d...................................................air
Author notes
"I've forgotten how to breathe, again"
A contest entry
- & i've forgotten how to breathe again. by Immortal Obscurity.
800 points, ended July 12, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Much better... Thank you
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Okaaayyyy, I know I probably should have mentioned in the contest-description that I hate dirty-pretty. My bad.
If you could pleasepleaseplease rewrite this in normal form, I'd love you forever and my eyes will thank you for your entry
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I have never delved into writing "dirty pretty" poetry, but no matter how YOU write it, it is always so brilliantly done... BRAVA!!!!
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Yes, it makes so much more sense now...duh...LOL...the underlying meaning is hidden well within in this piece....at least to me....
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