Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

heavy eyed

Missing image

 

 

i
pleated seconds tickled
the back of my pupils

as waiting sat
on the mantelpiece;


                               still

 

 

 

 

ii
beads of concern
jumped in the smallest car
of the rotary ride
                          and

 

mused at iridescent lights
of a deep sunset

 

 

 

 

 

 

iii
numbers played
          hide and seek

behind slithers of metal

and took it in turns
to remind me

that

I shouldn’t be waiting

 

         anymore

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

s i l v e r s c e n t

 

image is prompt, click here for credit

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • perfectsunset gold member
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    Wow hun, this was fabulous.
    Your imagery can go on for miles,
    and the metaphor instilled here
    creates such a beautiful atmosphere.

    A lot can be grasped from your
    concepts.. bravo!

    Best of luck & thanks for entering

  • wonderful take on the prompt I am really impressed with this style it has a certain maddness to it that I was really hoping that you would bring to this. I am very found of long poems, but I think that you said what need be in very few words a gift that is hard to come by. I like the imagery in this as well. Great job I really liked this.

  • i read this with my heart... waiting no longer.
    your wordking always makes me think, and this one will hold on to me even as i go to sleep tonight.

  • this was a perfect use of form ... your words bring pictures to my mind and mini movies play out ... great job ... and i hope to see you with another gold ...

  • J Macabre
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    That was awesome. I love the picture and your take on the prompt and exquisite as always.

  • What a most delicious take on that prompt, I never can tell when I am looking at dirty pretty or perhaps it is just your way of offsetting the flow.

    I really enjoyed this read and thank you for sharing your great talent.

1 - 6 of 6