I once dreamed,
fell asleep to an old jazz lullaby,
and the percussion played,
winds in melody make the tune,
and trombone never sounded so beautiful
and the saxophone was never so
mysterious and soothing...
and the world kept on turning,
all the windows of the world were open tonight
and all the answers are in sight,
and the couples spin round in their measured waltz-
blackness is beautiful velvet,rich with stars:
the curtains of the sun that hides its rays
to make a fluid dream and atoms bend
and make matter move aside...
for i have fallen into sleep,song stuck fast
into mind and pearlescent dreams...
I walk in starlight,and waltz with the wind...
and twirl in the moonlight that is as lustrous
as a spiders gossamer web,a butterfly's wings-
and over and over i dream the same dream:
I am the notes the trombone softly shouts,
the winding maze the saxophone weaves,
and i fall asleep to dream again...
Author notes
Using glenn miller style music,Star Dust and Serenade in Blue,as prompt and writing style.
In a list
be specific!! details!!!! thanks. also, NO ONE LINERS.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Sublime vision
Gorgeous texture in the language contained here, you seem to be able to pull a poem out of thin air. "And the couples spin round in their measured waltz- blackness is beautiful velvet, rich with stars." Memorable lines. The vivid atmosphere conjured here is palpable and full of magic.
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Fantastic piece. Your descriptions are so deep and textural that I could feel the images you were creating. There is a 3D quality to your descriptions which I can't describe but which makes this poem so rich in the mind. I really enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing.
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Love it
I think its great, I closed my eyes after every stanza just to feel it. The imagery is amazing, and I felt very relaxed. and now...*gets in car* I have to buy a jacuzzi
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damn...Much better. Way better imagery. good use of energy. Especialy the conclusion. Summed up in three lines.
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good
good images. I like the lines ,"with this starry night, this deep abyss, filled with fireflies and wine, meandering down the moonlite path"
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yeah i'm thinking about deleting it. i can do better then this lol
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So, what what you like me to do? put this into some kind of context, oldish? wise? form? using these words?
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