The smell of fresh rain and alchohol, but mostly rain.
The air smelt so fresh that night, and the world seemed so still and perfect, as if no one else existed.
We were the five people that no one could stop, we were invincible and everyone knew it.
The soccer field was empty, so we decided to camp out, giving orders along the lines of: 'you bring blankets, i'll bring booze, someone bring food, someone bring soda, and someone else bring smokes.'
our plan was flawless.
The smell of disinfectant, that horrible smell of hospitals.
The smell of death and sickness that you can never completely get rid of.
We were the four, waiting in the hospital room.
The ones who were relieved that we were here instead of still at the field.
We learned an important lessen: nothing lasts forver, and we aren't as invincible as we would like to believe.
Author notes
For bird-mad girl's contest:
Option:
-Ever smell something that stirs a memory? I'd prefer interesting combinations such as: the smell of pine needles reminds you of pissing in the woods at that one bon-fire. I don't know, something strange. Nothing like, the smell of Blacks remind me of him and how we were in love but he couldn't understand my pain and therefore broke my heart even though we're still together. Blah.
For Hell in harmony's contest:
Victoria Kay, 16
A contest entry
- there's gonna be a knife fight in china town. by bird-mad girl.
1750 points, ended September 8, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
i want you to be brutal.
Comments
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I've never has a sense of invinicablity and I think it's the same reason as why everybody else stops feeling it at some point: death or destruction.
I think you did a great job at changing the atmosphere in this piece. it was really subtle but it still had shock-value. I liked how it wasn't "and everything falls apart" bullshit becuase that's obnoxious and cliche. this has more substance because you didn't drone on and on about the sorrow. it just happened. end of story.
thank you for entering.
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