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Lilith

Whispered daggers~venom laced,
disguised as lovers treat.
Forgotten senses lead him long,
to her swollen silken lair.
Fragile ego shatters neath,
her driven bold intention.
A willing fool of her rule,
he kills himself for her pleasure.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • songstress80
    November 26
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    very interesting write with great imagery and a smooth flow. nicely written! great work was penned here. continue to write on!


  • Gwenevere
    August 15

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    Excellent write with really great imagery.the mood matches the picture perfectly.Well done, Ros


    • karma-n-peace
      August 15
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you I actually learned quite alot regarding Lilith while writing this poem, I will never again look at a sweetly sung lullabye in quite the same way LOL.


  • lifereaper
    July 21
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    wow,you truly are amazing,i love your writing,theres so much passion in your words

  • pkoirish
    July 20

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    Forgotten senses lead him long,
    to her swollen silken lair.
    Fragile ego shatters neath,

    beautiful imagery and emotion. now i wish i could write like you..
    your words just flow out..
    Patrick


    • karma-n-peace
      July 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for te awesome comment and you can write any way you choose just keep writing and let the word flow.
      (then you can do what I do and spend and hour editing and changing the entire write over and over until your finally half way satisfied LOL)


  • MichaelLeeSmyth
    July 10

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    Lilith, once a prominent member of the Hebrew Pantheon, cast out to share the lot of Asheroth and others by the dominance of Yaweh and the leviticans. This is an excellent view of how she is mostly viewed today.
    Peace


  • TheSpiralGenerator
    July 10
    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful write with some amazing imagery. Nice!


  • GraveyardGoddess
    July 9
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write,
    Thanks for entering.
    Good luck.


  • loudlady
    July 9

    Edit | Reply

    interesting

    interesting poem the wording used and the flow was absolutely amazing ... historical short and to the point very good

    keep writting

  • Juno101
    July 9
    Edit | Reply
    you've covered a lot in such a small poem. The words you used are good. Nice job.


  • Keith E. Gerber
    July 9

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    good poem

    It's the story of every love, every true love that is, where a man will give his all to someone he does not truly understand

  • thepoetx69
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    A poem from the ages. the wording you utilzed and the ways you wrote are historical. A beautifully creative and imagionative piece. I felt the seducticion of the woman @ hand here. the ways you stayed within the title of the piece was brilliant. I am not usually a fan of works in this fashion, but this one was more then worth the read. thank you for sharing this piece with us all...

  • lyrebird
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    The language and imagery that you've penned in this piece is incredible.

    Beautifully written.

    ♥ lyrebird


  • Angel-of-Chaos
    July 9
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I'm speechless. The beauty and pain of love has never been expressed so well. Great write!

1 - 15 of 15