sun warms my skin as the breeze off the lake stirs something deeper.
whitecaps reach out for my feet
my water-soul too changeable to truly belong on land;
I let the sound of the waves soothe me.
white sails in the distance hold my gaze.
.
I want to be away, running on the wind, in tune with the sea around me--
but instead I am here, with you,
pleading to be let go; I am battered by storms,
you are sun shining through green leaves,
strong growing trees as I become driftwood.
naiad-thrills run through me where I should have blood
& as you look through my seashadow-eyes there's a chance
{I hope}
that you might understand:
I am every story of the element I worship;
temperamental and bitter, rewarding and unforgettable.
{these, and the sunlight on the slippery spars,
will haunt them ever, waking and asleep.}
& despite everything I've done, all the small ways I've hurt you;
you return, forgiving me, promising to find a way to make me human---
you reach out, hands golden in the setting sun,
like lakshmana; a fragment of myth.
how could I argue with a face of god?
how could I love you?
but you refuse to give up on me;
& so, broken in the waves,
I endure.
Author notes
i saw this & thought 'i have to enter this because that's my new favorite word & also my new username.' so yeah, my AP name is
a e s t i v a l
for me, being lucky enough to live on lake michigan, summer is about the beach, sailing, about how freaking obsessed I am with all things watery. summer is also the season when I'm happiest &, for whatever reason, most prone to melancholy [quite an uncomfortable feeling, by the way]; so this is about that-- the contradiction in summer of being most alive but also not seeing the people I care about as much as I do during the school year, & about not quite being able to connect with the two people I most want to understand me right now.
oh, two things I used here that aren't mine: Lakshmana is a character in the Hindu epic The Ramayana; he's Rama's brother, & often considered a secondary form of Rama or an avatar of a different god. he has golden skin. the other is the line in italics; it's from the poem 'Mariners' by David Morton, which pretty much describes me in the summer.
sorry about the length of this note!
A contest entry
- .aestival. by landmark.
700 points, ended July 24, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thoughts?
Comments
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"soothes" --> "soothe" to agree with number
very beautiful work. i love your imagery--it fits really well with the prompt, but you still took it further, outside the box. i like the format a lot as well.
great work, thank you for entering! :]
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thank you for the bronze! [& thanks for catching that mistake, too. =) ]
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that first line probably doesn't start the poem as strongly as i am used to from you. it sets the scene but it seems tired.
white sails in the distance hold my gaze.
-that is really mesmorising. it is just a little fact that really caught my attention and ensnared me in the characters POV
I am battered by storms,
you are sun shining through green leaves,
strong growing trees as I become driftwood.
-i like that comparison.
{these, and the sunlight on the slippery spars,
will haunt them ever, waking and asleep.}
-i love this. the language, the flow, just everything is spot on without fail.
LOVE THE LAST TWO WORDS!!!
brilliant ending, simply brilliant.
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