Buzz

The voice, no my voice , talked again today,
It, wait I, gave me ideas i really shouldnt say,
Its funny, how nothing can be clean and nice,
When they're always there to take it away.

I can't look at my younger sister without thinking,
"Will she enter the same quicksand that I'm sinking?"
Actually,they, the voices tell me,
"She'll kill you, she's not as stupid you see!"

My friends, family, peers and lovers,
Don't they wait till I'm gone to talk to eachother?
They sit in a circle and cackle with glee,
About all the things,that they'll do to me.

Even my poems arent safe from this curse,
I write with an active fear that each verse,
Instead of running, trickling,flowing like honey,
Will grow wings and weapons and buzz chants for my death!
I'll run for my life, a lost dog , thanking god for each breath,
I'll beg and plead and fight and hide,
But they know too much, they come from inside,
The capitol of my imagination up top,
And i need to find a way to make them stop...

My mind doesnt bother me when im asleep.
By then im already gone in a dream too deep.

So , I'll go, asleep forever, and go figure,
I was finally at peace, when I pulled the trigger.