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Ocean[Haiku] (7/8/09)

ocean breeze
strikes the water
salty aroma

Author notes

Written July 8th, 2009

Please give me feed back! I know not how to write a solid haiku!

In a list

A contest entry

Anxiety

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Harrisham Minhas
    August 30
    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice, vivid write.
    Congrats on the HM.




  • MysteriousWhisper
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    lovely image here. it makes me think of the beach. i love the beach. i like how you incorporated the sense of smell here. it is quite original. good job and good luck in the contest!


  • Angels Whispers gold member
    July 11

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on your HM award my friend.
    Your words were penned beautifully.
    May your quill never run dry.
    Your friend in poetry,
    Anne.


  • Arkbear gold member
    July 11

    Edit | Reply

     

     

     

     

     

    Hello

     

    I see no use for CAPS in a KU'....nor punc.'s

     

    I adore this KU'....I have no suggestions here....good luck!

     

    Bear -


  • Frogzter gold member
    July 8
    Edit | Reply
    Exactly right... nice descriptive imagery. Lovely haiku...

    Blessings and best wishes,

    Frogz~


  • Xxthe angry gothxX
    July 8
    Edit | Reply
    ok ... dont say stuff like that.haiku, like the japanese language, it's short and simple but to the conscise point.try to think of one solid thing you love most when writing one, think bout it for no more than 7seconds and just make sure the meter is right to qualifications.
    but as for the poem, i see nothing wrong with this
    very soothing.

1 - 6 of 6