We venture to the sun
where hiding is impossible,
shadows do not exist
and the snow
drifts-
we melt,
we fuse together;
Solar energy -
words unnecesary
in the glow
of our thoughts...
Time travel to
you.
Right where I belong,
where my soul feels safe -
we hide inside eachothers heart shaped mind...
One by one
your panic attacks
release,
to orbit around
that bitter moon...
I know you'll be coming home soon~
Author notes
"I took my love down to Violet Hill. There we sat in the snow. All that time she was silent still. So if you love me, won't you let me know?"
In a list
A contest entry
- Kiss with a Fist by hey charlie.
500 points, ended July 8, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fast contest Favorites only prewrites by Ami.
800 points, ended July 17, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How did this make you feel? Anything I could use work on? Write it here...
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Awesome job.
-
I like this poem. I feel like it's about missing a loved one. I really enjoyed the first few lines of each stanza the most.
-
I loved your opening two lines. They bring such an ethereal feeling which resonates through the rest of this verse. Glad to see this recognized with a trophy.
~Pamela 
-
Beautiful...
Good job!
Short and sweet!
Keep writing and it will only get better!!!
-
I had to read this twice because I couldn't believe that there was an entry that wasn't blood-thirsty. Lol. ANYWAY... Every line is beautiful and well planned. I'm trying to get through all the poems as quickly as possible so the fact that it flowed well as I read it and used simple language was a plus. That being said, you're a finalist. Thank you for entering.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
