Wicked Sense of Humor

And when I look back on it all,
I realize there was no good.
A piece of my life was wasted,
and I can't bring it back - nothing could.
I sit down here and I realize,
that I wasted all of my tears.
And you didn't help wipe them away,
you were never even there.
I can't believe I did that;
I gave my heart to a fool.
You didn't know how to care for it,
you just let it free, and away it flew.

I don't what I can take out of this,
you caused me nothing but pain.
I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel
- from you there was nothing to gain.
I let you in time and time again,
only to have to shut you out.
I didn't like playing that game at all;
I don't know what that was all about.
You were supposed to be my friend,
you were supposed to be there the entire time.
But no, you couldn't do that - you left me,
and the only heart hurt is mine.

I hope that when I give you up for good,
you won't say I never tried.
Because then I'll have to go back in my memory,
and count all the times I've cried.
I hope that when I stop responding to you,
you won't say I never cared.
Because every single time you needed me,
I was always, always there.
I hope that when I forget you completely,
you won't say that I never spoke my mind.
Because I know with all my heart I did
- you just never listened most of the time.

If you had listened to me hun,
then maybe you could have seen,
how hard I tried to be your friend;
how much you really mean to me.
You would have called during those cold nights,
and dried my face free of tears.
You would have picked up the phone calls,
you would have always been there.
And maybe - just maybe -
if you had always be there those nights,
you would have seen that this could have been perfect;
beautiful and just right.

But I won't let this break me anymore,
I'm a big girl now; we don't cry.
I'm done with the sleepless nights,
and continually asking, "Why?".
I'm going to move on now,
and put my heart in only one person's hands;
my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ
- the only perfect man.
I just hope that He has a reason for all of this;
for if I had cancer, you would be the tumor.
Because if there is none?
Then God sure has a wicked sense of humor.