Darkness nestled my
Only child room,
I had no thought of
My impending doom.
The sky was empty
Except the new moon,
My clock conducted
An eerie blank tune.
The phone rang pronto
And up I did spring,
Much too scared not to
Answer the darn thing.
"Who is it?", I thought
But say I did not,
"It is I", said he
And the phone turned hot.
Pain entered my ear
And splashed through my brain,
It poured out my eyes
Like blood in a drain.
I cried as he spoke
Of sinister things,
Of wanting the world
And envying wings.
No friend in the world
To listen to him,
How can he prove that
He's more than just grim?
Said that he's sorry
For ruining life,
Couldn't imagine
His ongoing strife.
"What more could I do?"
He then asked of me,
"Why just be yourself"
I said happily.
Then blue tears of joy
Sprawled down from his face,
And I hung up the phone
As a gestured embrace.
No one can tell how
Inspiring it felt,
My little talk with
The Devil himself.
Author notes
Sometimes people just need somebody they can talk to.
I don't really believe in the devil, I just use him as a metaphore for outcasts who get judged by others and don't have many friends.
Written March 23rd, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Blood of Tears by NoLuvNoChois.
350 points, ended March 26, 2004, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
awesomeness
wow ....i loved the suspense in this ....had me on the edge of my seat ...a "phone call from Hell" ....wow ....that is awesome man
~Heather~
*You Are Who You Are And This You Can Not Change* -
kudos!
wow. this is really original and it's in its own unique weird beauty. i love the rhymes and how you show the other part of the devil not just the one part we usually see. this is really good. i love it! -
Thanks for readin' my poem and leavin' a comment. And yes, my fingers really are quite flexible... it freaks people out when I show them in person.
Anyways thanks again for showin' interest in my writing. 
-
Hahhaa... I love this poem. It totally makes me feel like I just actually talked to the devil. Thanks for this, it made me laugh, I havent laughed like this in a while. Damn depressing life.. well.. I do love this, Im checking out your site.. can you actually do that with you fingers? Word.
Laura -
OMG that poem is great. The flow captured me and u told teh story with great imagery and metaphors. Awesome job!
-
This had a certain feel to it, almost like a dark "'Twas the Night Before Christmas"....at least it began to read in a similar beat to me as the short lines drew me further and further in. I love the line "like blood in a drain" and the three lines preceeding it in particular and of course I also liked the twist at the end...but then, when you look back, who else could it have been? Thanks for sharing!
Elaina
-
very good
Yeah i don't know what to say i am speechless!!!! It was a very good write it flowed ever so nicly and it had a very interesting rhyme scheme but it was good very good. Great job!
~Luv/Laura
-
whoa! ok that was def. a great write...everything just went to perfect...great great job..keep it up
xo0x jess xox -
Wow....this was REALLY REALLY good. WOW. I agree, it was very creative, it was also very well written. The rhyme scheme was good, and it flowed quite excellently. Thanks for sharing your talent. Keep up the excellent writing. Take it easy now and keep it real.
<3,
Alison -
great job!
The whole poem runs very smoothly throughout, and your rhyme scheme was done very well. One thing that struck a bad chord with me was this:
"No friend in the world
To listen to him,
How can he prove that
He's more than just grim?"
I'm sure there's a reason to have it this way, but it just sounded kind of weird to me.
That's all! Keep on writing.
- sky -
Wow this was really amazing. This is something I would of never thought of to write about, and it was very creative. The rhyming and flow were perfect. The picture you painted in my mind was great, Especially in the lines:
Pain entered my ear
And splashed through my brain,
It poured out my eyes
Like blood in a drain
Thanks for sharing
-
Great flow
Cool poem, I always wondered what would happen if I got a phone call from the devil, I like this a lot. Good ryhming scheme, tight meter, very well done. -
i loved this... i really like the line 'My clock conducted
An eerie blank tune'
-
Awesome
I agree we all need someone we can talk to.This was very creative. Another great write.Keep them coming. Alexis
-
I have never read anything like this poem and honestly,it glows with creativity and it is just an awesome write. I loved it.
-
wow. nice write. cant think of anything else to say. latter Honeybe
-
very very creative. awesome job
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
4 old applause
