In the middle of the desert, drunk, I did pen
a dot to dot chart of the most pellucid stars.
The further I walked from the fire, they spread.
Out in a sheer chaos florescence, Rorschach test.
Dimorphic and shedding, I gagged in delight,
and vomited up my breakfast in a similar pattern.
Vatic and lost, I did a coyote running an SOS pattern.
No longer having anymore use for my loggy pen.
Letting go of my face into vast space with delight.
I got dilly and naked and made love to the cold stars
Without a second thought, I anti up for the test,
and rolled out my bones to get bloody and spread.
There, I came into a clearing where Asian pears spread...
Along with pomegranate branded with Hades' pattern
How came I upon this grove and its Persephone test?
Complete with a Jerry-Built Nicholas Tesla pig pen.
This was no safe place for agents, politicians, or stars
To succumb to direct current and spin drift off in delight.
I have a compendium of dried bullshit, and I do delight
in it all for no reason, but the long shot with a spread
of some legs in the Dregs, or at sky bars with the stars,
that wear their sunglasses at night and in a set pattern.
Calling valet for their cars that passed a crash dummy's test
Litmused and abused by the best that I could never pen.
Simply because, they are too rich and phonemic to pen
against paper with vowels and consonants that delight
an audience of blind muffled sheep shaved for the test
Of us against them, alternating amps arc, powering the spread
Of extemporaneous brain-washings. They bend you to pattern
your DNA into a clone to be grown while you imitate stars.
From your favorite sitcoms, and from some heaven these stars
shoot guns into minds that Charlie Brown scars & Pig pen
cares about the dirt that he tends in a Gratefully Dead pattern
as the girls all twirl in a whirl & the sounds carry sparks of delight
I wondered where I went wrong with the light that I write to spread
We all have our moments to address what we consider a test.
A station Identification of stars that are paid to thrill and delight
Me from this pen of slop and the lovely smell that words spread
A virus patterned from a power grid, rolling our heads into a black out test
Author notes
sestina
Written March 22nd, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- ProPoetryPlease by Em.
650 points, ended October 25, 2005, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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Nice sestina ... enjoyable read, you writr well as i have said before. thank you for entering!
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I am on drugs.
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Good sestina you put it together well, although when I started reading it I thought you were on drugs but by the time I finished, I wondered if I was. I like the way it covers all the cosmos with first the personal hangover and flowing out to making love with the stars and the consequence of maming love to the stars particularly those in cartoons.
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thank you, you are too lovely.
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That's probably one of the best sestinas I've ever read! Even I entered a sestina in this contest but mine looks absolutely crappy and childish in comparision with this.
Amazing job!
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very good
I liked your first stanza and the closing tercet the best but anything using Charles Shultz is going to get my attention.
Always good to find new sestinas.
John -
No actually, you refering to yourself as a 'Doctor'
is all I need as a retort. The mind boggles at the prospect
of just WHAT field that said achievment falls into. Because my friend.
It certainly isn't art. And I my friend would know because:
I once shit my pants in the Louvre
My grandmother was a famous ceramicist and china doll maker.
I myself, paint like a retarded flaming tit on mescaline, hence why I'm a fucking poet probably.
My best friend Nicholas Martin is a fine painter though, at RISDI and he's educated me about these things, although he's quite a queer fellow.
My other grandmother is also a painter (on my mom's side)
I'm a poet, and think artists are a dime a dozen these days
I like to see people earn it, like Basquiat, or Pollock.
Distorting a couple of clouds in the sky at twilight or day break on a computer isn't art, that's masturbation, and quick pulls at that.
I once sodomized a dead lamb on my neighbors 1971 grey mercedes SL, while throwing my voice into its racking corpse through my mastery of venrtriloquism. "Bleet ,baaah... baaaah..." I said. And we're friends, Now that's art.
Edited on Oct 26 because ''. -
To be totally honest ( and please don't put any serious consideration to my words , as I am the site "fool")
I enjoyed reading the silly mottos of those who commented better than I liked this poem, until my 6th re-read.
Now I think an appropriate retort on your part should be something to confirm my site "fool" reputation and thus Puff up your frail ego.
That's what you do right? I mean the poem I wrote " I am you" is about the right person right?
I know you, your-type and you brilliance astounds me,
you are truly the best that has or ever will be.
Dr.Dave Adam to you.., for future ref. when you dis my art -
I enjoyed this read very much...you seem to have insight into it all on the surface level....and also on a profound level....well done here....very well written....i thought i would pick out my fav lines.....
"I anti up for the test,
and rolled out my bones to get bloody and spread.
"an audience of blind muffled sheep shaved for the test
Of us against them,"
wonderful....keep up the great work
dark search -
Allow me to state once again, it's a sestina if you don't know what it is, shut up, and look it up. Otherwise you look like an idiot, unfortunately.
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It's a Sestina, lol at that asshat.
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I found the poem too long, and the verses too long, I think short verses go with long free-verse poems. Word choice was excellent, I couldn't suggest anything on the poem except improving the flow and I think that the addition of some other rhymes could help. I loved the way you could fit a piece while using the same verse endings with each stanza. The themes to me were confusing, I admit that I couldn't understand them all. Maybe I just couldn't relate to the poem. Anyway, it is one great piece, keep it up and God Bless.
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horus8~
Hey! I thought that this was a really good poem. It was nicely written and it had a good flow to it as well. Keep writing and thank you for sharing this with all of us here.
~!~Manda~!~ -
I um, dont um really nkow what you are talking about here. I am not very smart, want to fill me in?
It did sound good but it was a tad bit long.
Um good luck in the future, lol.
BRAVO
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Ah, this limp is nothing short of GANGRENE already.
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courageous, sprawling and plump with quotable lines. It just doesnt get better than "an audience of blind muffled sheep shaved for the test." that is a poem in itself. stop writing sestinas. you are going to hurt yourself.
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delcious wording, sounds pretty trippy. seems like you have a wonderful mind, nifty work ^.^
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Hi. Just back wondering about the magic in this one. -
I did enjoy this piece of poetry...you have the gift of detail...I wonder what this piece would look like if you structured it into small stanzas...
anyway, I enjoyed this way as well...Take care.
Always,
amberlee -
I love how you stick to the form but don't make the form rule the poem - it reads like the messages and the words and the pictures come first and that's how it should always be, otherwise it's like being a wonderful technical painter but having no ideas or personality to paint down, and that'd be pretty empty and useless. That'd be a waste.
It's trippy, I like the mixture of hecticnessstuff and commotion and all that against the calmer bits, stars and thingys. -
I know, it's one of my most layered pieces, the great thing is, and I wished more people realised the beauty of this fact 'your contest drew it out of me'. Thank you for giving me, a winner no matter what.
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(Do I hafta read the other entries now?? Can't I just read this one over & over?) -
I'm sorry to hear that chrome girl, but it's a Sestina and I'm sure way out of your league, but god bless, thanks for sharing and KEEP writing.
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kinna dull
it was alright i guess, but not my style. too long, and didn't really hold my attention. sorry. -
Congratulations. This is the first piece of yours that I have read and I can say, "I see the Shaman".
I connect on various levels with this -- the vocabulary is superb, the imagery psychedelic and the structure is integral to the telling. All in all - perfect.
Except one would ante up for a test, I think.
Well done. That's one. Amaze me again sometime. -
Thank you, what a kind thing to say Luna? thank you so much.
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Beautiful - both in form and in subject. I always enjoy a good entheogenic poem.
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I loved this poem. Descriptions were awesome...inspirational!
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It's a 39 lined French structure with alternating repeating last words in each line.
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awesome
Another thought provoking marvel wtg Horus! I'll try this contest doubt I will be anywhere near as good as you, in that case hope you win. cheers! -
i did? when?
N... -
Briliant sestina, wonderfully worded, technically correct, flowing freely. Excellent read, WTG Horus8
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this was realy cool keep up the good wark i hope to see more like this by then see ys ween i see ya
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Ok...I'm probably very stupid but what is a Sestina? Don't answer that, I'll figure it out. This write is very thought provoking, I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
~>Tu Leona<~ -
shhhhhh.....don't let anyone hear me...i adore this...i love the desert and stars and i have epiphany-like experiences there..i always loved the way the girls danced in that charlie brown special..all crazy like.. but there is so much more....god it was worth the time you spent and i'm so happy you share.
i remember nyx saying something about vomiting stars once... -
god shave the queen
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I have never wrote a sestina
So you are one up on me ya little devil lol
Like I once said I never know what to expect when I read something of yours but it's always a delight
Hope you get to place a trophy on your chest
Love n hugs
Susan~~~
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I know, but you do them beautifully. And it doesn't seem contrived, and stuffy and fake. Like half of the other crap around here.
N... -
Sestinas are such a pain in the ass to write.
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Sins my fat ass beer belly has blocked my eyes from my feet, I have to agree with you, I too, haven't seen them since that fateful night.
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you are, an absolute marvel my sweet.
there is such a strange beauty in almost everything you write. and you write these to such a perfect extent that it makes me slightly nausious
i have to say, i've never looked at Hades and Persephone that way.
N... -
Very thought proving, but I am sure you knew that already, good luck.
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