~by Gregg Rowe~
My father was an abuser:
I shall not want.
He maketh me lie upon him;
He guided me into self-destruction
And I drinketh his liquids of life.
He taketh my soul;
He leadeth me on the paths of dishonesty for his righteousness name's sake.
Ye thou I walk through the valley of life,
I fear and mistrust
All people, all love and all evil:
For he art with me.
His rod and his staff entered me,
And I found no comfort on the exterior.
He preparest a life of loss
In the presence of his friends and mine enemies:
He annointest my head with alcohol;
'Til my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life;
And yet I shall dwell in His house forever.
Author notes
Please do not post me any e-mails advising me "to get help". I have had plenty of therapy to deal with these issues already and am writing the experience to keep a record for myself and for others to find solace in someone else's writing. PS: I had to get this Psalm out of my system. It has been recited at my grandfather's funeral, my grandmother's funeral, my father's funeral and my brother's funeral.
Written December 4th, 2001
In a list
A contest entry
- Intense Sentiments by Never Fall in Love.
700 points, ended February 6, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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this leaves me in a stunned state
normally .. i do not know the Psalms 23
and i don't think i even want to know
this .. your transformation of it ..
god .. it has left me in awe
this is really good
too touching
and extremely personal
good luck in the contest
~* NeveR *~ -
Very excellent. I like how creative you were about writting this. Though abuse is terrible and sad, and I wish I could wave my magical wand of my mind and imagination and make it so no one ever was/will be ever again abused, physically or emotionaly.
Sel~ -
wow.. I think this was very creative taking a verse from the bible and turning a good verse into such ones tragety..I'M so sorry this has happened to you..a very unigue and creative way to let out your pain..I really love this ..great job..god bless..I applaud this write..your creativity is assume..honeydew
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yeah this was good ...reminds me of just that the bible eep but sence i am not a religon basher ill tell ya what i think
this was beautiful and i am sooo happy u shared and entered it good luck and thanks -candice -
Glad you were able to get it OUT THERE instead of keeping it IN THERE. I know intimately of what you speak but have chosen in my instance to let it temper me into a better person than even those who created me. Hey... I got a Psalms for ya amigo....
The 23rd Sigh
Bush is my shepherd; I dwell in want.
He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.
He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness.
He restoreth my fears.
He leadeth me in the paths of international disgrace
for his ego's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution
and war,
I will find no exit, for thou art in office.
Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy media control,
they discomfort me.
Thou preparest an agenda of deception in the
presence of thy religion.
Thou anointest my head with foreign oil.
My health insurance runneth out.
Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow
me all the days of thy term,
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement
forever. -
"Ye thou I walk through the valley of life,
I fear and mistrust
All people, all love and all evil:
For he art with me. "
It is these four lines that get me the most. Having difficulties with trusting and loving another is not surprising, but it is so awful that you were made to feel and live this way
xx -
This leaves me nausiated, speechless, and dizzy. I am so sorry. It is so painful to read. I think that the sarcasm of the psalm is fitting, given you state that it was read at your father's funeral, and yet, he most certainly did not follow the path of righteousness.
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Michelle: You have hit the poem in the aspect that was written: When I was younger I believed in GOD because that was how I was raised as a Catholic, no questions were asked in our house, now that I am older I question exactly what you wrote Where was GOD?. ēDo you forget*? Never...but you can forgive, it is the journey that makes it exciting. Gregg
Edited on Nov 21, 3:11 because ''. -
powerful and absolutely brilliant
No my friend, I don't think that you used this poem or God's name in a negative way. In fact, what I hear screaming at the top of your lungs now is WHERE WAS GOD? And what I hear when you were young,OH GOD WHERE ARE YOU? It's okay to be angry with God. He forgives. But what is hard here on earth is to forigive the one who inflicted the pain. It helps when you finally come to that point where you can. Do you forget? Some days, and then there is a period where you don't think of it at all. What's important is how you deal with it when it does. And you have done an exsquite job. What is amazing you will find, is that you still have an amazing capacity for love. Gregg, you've such amazing grace! Good luck in the contest. ~Michelle~ -
Bah! The inverse of Psalm 23 is just that -- Psalm 23 recast. This doesn't seem creative to me. And methinks that if you know what it was like in Hebrew, you'd probably do a better job or parodying it. If I see one more person butcher Tehillim, I swear I will scalp them.
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i think that's very strong of you to be able to open up about such a personal experience...truly, that's very admirable...great job, and be proud of yourself for getting this far, and trying to move past it all...thanks for entering, and i wish you luck.
christina -
this was a really heartfelt adaption of Psalm 23. I can understand how you could write this as a personal record. Time may heal but the memory still stays there and our job is to grow from it. I like this piece very much, it's very emotional and personal, and it shows that you have come a long way. Poetically speaking, I think (from what I can remember) you've kept the meter of the Psalm itself pretty well. Great write, I applaud it.
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I easily can understand how the 23rd Psalm inspired this piece about your earthly father, Gregg. Abuse is not a pretty thing, in reality or in the written word: I know, I was raised in it and subjected to all the forms including sexual. For me, however, God's Word was the very thing that helped me to rise above my childhood: to truth and trust, to love, and to give of myself. The spiritual and emotional rewards have been and continue to be awesome.
This is a great write, dear one; albeit, it does bother me to see God's Word used in such a negative way. Still, I understand how and why you identified with this particular passage. So, good luck in the contest!
Lots of love and hugs, BonnieQ
Edited on Jul 22, 6:16 p.m. because ''. -
I can relate to this in some ways. Though I pick up sexual tones here my father never did that. But.
At every opportunity he took it upon himself to punish me for looking like him. A good write. -
I can feel the agony in your words.Speaks Great volume.full of emotion.
still speechless don't know what to write. -
wow this is a very deep poem i ahve never read such a different way of expressing family pain i liked this very much i hope i can read more of your work it is really good. i am sorry you have had to go through this in life. i hope you rainbow comes smiling through someday for you.
love always
kami -
Thank you for stopping by and critiquing this poem...as yo can tell which I am ambivalent about like in all my writings.
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I thought it was an interesting idea. You conveyed the horror of your experience through a psalm that is commonly read after death. (funerals, etc.) It seemed appropriate to me in many ways. One being, at least a part of most victims of such horrific abuse has died. Also, the fact that the 23rd Psalm is a general reminder that we are loved children of our Heavenly Father and he awaits us when we die. You did a complete 180 with this and told of the unyielding memories of pain inflicted upon you by your earthly father, who seems to haunt you after he has died. It seemed even more appropriate after reading the comments and seeing the relation between this Psalm and the direction you took it in with your references.
The fact that you can even write this says something of the progress that you've made in the transition from victim to survivor. If anyone is asinine enough to tell you to get help...inform them that you're getting help as they type...since most therapists recommend the writing or art as a form of release. Thank you for sharing!
Elaina
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I ahve read much of your writings and instead of commenting on every one of a new writer I come across I wait until I have a much better feel of the overal power and focus of that writer. I am so impressed - you are an asset to this site and I certainly am looking forward to reading as much as I can. You are compassionate and you are skilled and you wonderful to read in your many shades or anger, love and social comment.
Thank you, and this one is especially brilliant.
David
An aussie standing ovation - usually it requires dropping our pants and mooning the orchestra but hell who cares this is good writing -
Very intense, but somehow I feel you've come a long way. . .
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You write well to express the pain that is buried inside of you. I myself haven't escaped my lion's den of pain, and suffering. I hope with practice one day that one day I can write with the beauty that I read so far of your work. I have read a lot, and haven't been able to comment on because your words move me. Good write here, my new friend. If I may cal you that.
- ALLISSIA
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wow that was extremly powerful... great write
Thank you for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck in it as well....
take care and god bless
~~~~~~~ Soulz ~~~~~~~~~~ -
That was a general comment posted because the first time I posted it I took it off because I received a lot of unfavorable responses using a Psalm to depicit child abuse...yet no one knows the personal meaning behind these words from all the hyprocrisy in my family...I am so tired of hearing these words repeated over gravesites of family members who cannot face the truth within themselves before they profess their love of our Maker. For three generations we went to church and prayed and on the oustside made it look like we were the societal happy well-adjusted family while chaos ruled behind the four walls of our home, and every Sunday we were trasped off to church to profess our sins...well my miniscule sins of white lying to my parents and jerking off so I wouldn't have wet dreams as a teenager while growing up into adulthood is just that -- childhood growing up, what happened in my house that Father built still effects me to this day and is way more sinful than a couple of experimentations as a teenager.
Edited on Mar 25, 12:39 because ''. -
Another deeply riveting poem and I wouldn't tell anyone to get help...lol...because it is something that is a personal choice in these things...when we are all ready to face our past horors, then we will get the help we need I think. You have to be ready and prepared to face the past, since at least in my case and maybe in your own, the past is more uncertain and painful than the future, for the future we at least know leads to an end...the past however... we can't really know if it will follow us into death or not. A great write and best of wishes...~genielassie~
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AWESTRUCK.
Oh My Gosh, this is awesome. How horrid of a thing to happen, I do know this personally. Wow, this is great. I can't believe you were so brave to write something like this and post it. Great job on this and best of luck to you.
I am in awe.
-MISTY- -
powerful
I don't know what to say. Obviously there is a lot of pain in this piece. A purging of your soul. Powerful. Good luck in the contest.
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