I see the world before me
I grasp the truths Ive seen.
I hold hope within my heart
as I exist within this dream.
The swirling mists at last do part
harsh reality sets in,
in this world of utter chaos
there is no way to win.
We struggle and strive to carry on
believing in what we see,
though seldom do we realize
the future may never come to be.
We try to see through blinded eyes
the path we chose to take
without ever really noticing
most love soon turns to hate.
We fight through constant battles
just to end up back at the start.
The light within that burned so bright
has withered and fallen dark.
The beginning becomes the end
the sun becomes the moon,
the hope we once believed in
has come to cause our doom.
In a list
A contest entry
- Rhyme only! by Midnite-Rae.
700 points, ended July 12, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Is hope always a good thing? What if it is based on a lie?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I really enjoyed reading this.
I liked it a lot, and I can't just pick one particular part.
Although, I re-read it and I really liked the first stanza.
I liked the rhyme.
You did a good job.
Thanks for entering and Good luck in my contest.
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in this world of utter chaos
there is no way to win.
Such a true line. As for the poem, I think it is great..again. You gotta get sick of hearing that, but anyways, I like the way it engages your m ind to think. Where some are sooo simple, this one is simply amazing. Keep it up!!
I Love You.
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another example of where your poetic talent is. and another example of how marvelous you are at writing poems like this. i suggest only a couple of changes, i'll pm them to you.
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We struggle and strive to carry on
believing in what we see,
though seldom do we realize
the future may never come to be.
We try to see through blinded eyes
the path we chose to take
without every really noticing
most love soon turns to hate.
right off the bat I would like to suggest changin the word every to ever
overall this is a very well penned thought out write from you and I do like the way it stimulated my mind in such a way that it mad eme think depely. anyways overall this is a very well penned poem andc I like the depth and point to it as well. keep up the nice work as always and good luck with the contest.
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Thanks, I guess I must have missed that when I reread it. Im fixing it now.
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