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Radiant Devotion to a Midnight Love

Once you were the fateful beginning to my prolonged ending
now you're just a single page in a never ending novel

Fanatic fascinations would facade your ugly face
today you bear witness to the decaying of your memories

Oh, her eyes did they shine once before the twilight dawn
oh, her eyes do they bleed when they say “look at me now”

A contest entry

What do you think this poem means? And do you like it?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    August 26

    Edit | Reply

    20.66 / 25

    I believe you work better with shorter works. You are stronger and are able to focus more with your carefully selected words. Work on that. I can see you going somewhere with your work.


  • Griswold gold member
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    Well this is interesting if short, I feel there is more could be said here somewhere. Thank you for entering the "Fight for the Gold" contest it is appreciated. Best of luck to you.. Scott


  • Antebellum
    July 6
    Edit | Reply
    Short, but this says a lot.
    I like how both sentences start with 'oh, her eyes'
    great write.
    thanks for entering.