i said ,god i hurt.
and god said,i know
i said,gaod i cry a lot
and god said that is why i gave you tears.
i sad,god i am so depressed,
and god said,that is why i gave you sunsine
i siad,god life is so hard
and god said, that is why i gave you loved ones
i said,god my loved one died
and god said so did mine
i said,god it is such a loss
and god said i saw mine nailed to a cross
i said,god where are they now?
and god said,mine is on my right...and yours is in the light.
i said,god it hurts
and god said,I KNOW
A contest entry
- Enter Your best. by Antebellum.
550 points, ended July 9, 169 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BEST KID POET OF 2009.. Five ROUNDS.. 5 THEMES!!! Kids from 4-15years ONLY!! by xXGoddessofPainXx.
400 points, ended July 14, 30 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think about it and what did i do wrong and what do u think i mean
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Some things you could fix is to use quotations, capitalize all of the I's and God's and also on line 3 its says "gaod" instead of God. Other that that this is an amazing poem and makes you think. I love it keep up the good work = )
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This is the most beautiful-est poem i have ever read in my life.. keep writing-jkj
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that was so good and hart breaking!I love it!
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that was very nice
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wo
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OK so this piece is what I call amazing. I say that because it's so typical of us to talk to god but we never hear his replies. This piece shows both sides and how no matter what we say god has a good response and he understands what ever we go through. There are many many spelling errors apart from that great piece. Thanks for enterng
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really like the wording here. Check you capitalization.
Other than that fantastic write,
thanks for entering& good luck -
Good poem
I like it the loss you feel for a love one.That means alot to me.Let's see umm "I" and "God" should be capitalized.I think if you used quotations when you use lines like,In your first line . Instead of "I said ,god i hurt." I would use
I said, "God, I hurt"
I still like the poem very deep.
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love this and it tells me alot about how u feel about family and i like that about this poem
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wow nice wording, very creative.... I wish god would talk to me, lol
very good poem , i like it.
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