Beyond the metal fence
there is a green jungle
there are no blocks or corners
only true chaos
see how the termites
turn logs into cathedrals
see the mighty pillars of wood
how the branches bend and turn
and the dancing flowers in the wind
the cities have always been here
when there were no prisoners
only survivors.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I liked this a lot. The idea behind it was cool.
Since the title was "Asphalt Jungle," and a jungle is usually made of plants, not asphalt, I thought it'd add a lot if you described the plants (line 2) differently. You could use a word that would normally be used for more of a city/'asphalt' setting. Am I making any sense?
Just a suggestion. Amazing write :]
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