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magnetism


your
gravity
reels in
my flaking
dead





.

A contest entry

critique please.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Snowbear gold member
    July 5
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting take on the prompt!
    Good luck in the contest


  • Scyphon
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    A great take on the prompt
    a strong influence upon your essence
    well written in the few words
    best of luck


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    wow this one is really good. I really like your take on the prompt.

    good luck
    Kat


  • penman gold member
    July 5
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    what a great take on the prompt. best of luck in the contest.


  • lostinawe.
    July 5

    Edit | Reply

    Hmmmm

    I would have gone with a diffent word than flaking to relate it more to charisma-
    But i still think this is not bad for a poem... creative...
    Peace and Love-
    Lost


  • islekine gold member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply

    I am getting the strangest takes!

    Thanks for entering!
    Best wishes always...

    and

1 - 6 of 6