Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Concrete Jungle

concrete jungle of broken buildings
smothered in barbed wire bandages
to keep the bricks all healed

tube stations of white suits
navy suits
track suits
no suits
black suits
work suits
suits you ma'am
but no one speaks

a concrete silent jungle
deforestised to make way for trees
to counteract polluted souls
polluted minds
polluted politics
seeping to the core

this concrete jungle is abandoned
or at least
health and safety say it should be

Author notes

contest piece ^_^ prompt was local area.

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Pondering-panda
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant!
    Reallyyyyy love this bit
    "tube stations of white suits
    navy suits
    track suits
    no suits
    black suits
    work suits
    suits you ma'am
    but no one speaks"


  • Olivias Violin
    July 7
    Edit | Reply

    Chilling!

    and original

    Thank you for sharing this.


  • glitterydoom
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    ooooh I love it.

    so true and poignant.
    and the last stanza just rings true.

    tube stations of white suits
    navy suits
    track suits
    no suits
    black suits
    work suits
    suits you ma'am
    but no one speaks <-- and for some reason that stanza stood out to me and i love it


    • Shadow Anonymised gold member
      July 7
      Edit | Reply
      its true though; no one speaks to each other on the tube, or public transport.

      many thanks for commenting ^_^


  • Dmonik
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is an impressive piece.
    Concrete jungles and asphalt rivers... This is very different to what I'm used to you writing, but in a good way. I agree with the comment below. It's good to leave your comfort zone occasionally, and delve into depths, unknown. You do it well.
    Bravo

    'D' (Scott)

    • Shadow Anonymised gold member
      July 6
      Edit | Reply
      a sleepy mind means weird thoughts... maybe i should stay up til insane hours more often...

      many thanks hon ^_^ lets kill the comfort zone.

  • MasterMorality
    July 5
    Edit | Reply
    Actually I really like it. It's different for you I think, but it works really well.

    • Shadow Anonymised gold member
      July 5
      Edit | Reply
      thanks hon ^_^ yea contest poetry does that to me, forces me to think outside my comfort zone, then i use it back in my comfort zone to increase it. clever much ^_^

1 - 10 of 10