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In the Phase of Fluorescence

in incandescent dreams
i trace the outline of your face
so close to mine
moments of us
awash in yellow light

when cold night
wraps around mercury
like phosphor
the heat of you
burns inside my memory














Author notes

So, in this piece incandescent represents the past and fluorescent the present - is that apparent?


    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • manoguru
    September 13

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    this is such a terrific imagery of contrast. the crisp, brute realization of an experience and the dim, softness of it in the memory is something i have often wondered and dabbled about. you out here, in such few short lines do a fantastic job in highlighting this fact you have my full praise

  • silverfish
    September 4

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    i like the phosphor, natural light, greenish like dreams, the color of the ocean at night. and the heat ... you always seem to bring it. and i like the burn. oh. i do. -silverphish

  • loafy
    August 29

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    Oh, this is astounding. When you mension yellow light, I automatically think of stages and audiences and performers. Hmm, very well expressed, yet mangible enough for the reader to develop his own interpretation.

  • Bruce silver member
    July 27

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    Mary Jo, This is positively lovely! I like the idea of incandescent and fluorescent representing two different times, although this wasn't apparent to me on first reading. I love the phrase incandescent dreams, although incandescent light tends to be harsher than fluorescent, and one might argue that it should represent the present, as our minds tend to take the edge off our memories. However, the image of the phosphor burning in your memory is muy romantica! Very impressive write my friend!

  • abu nuwas
    July 23

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    Lovely..

    I suppose that is a bit like saying the work of some edgy artist is'nice', but it best describes what I think


    • Nangaleema
      July 26
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      thanks.

      (incidentally - i tried to mark all your comments as 5 stars but it won't let me do that now due to length. must be a new rule around here...?)


  • deercatcher
    July 20
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    Ambient.

  • deercatcher
    July 20

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    Halogen eyes,
    Afterglow,
    Imprinted...

    Incandescence is not the best choice for transcendental contemplation...


  • tara wilson gold member
    July 11

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    this is so lovely. i hope all is good with you, Mary Jo.

1 - 10 of 10