To you on the outside
You think I'm okay...
But what you don't know is
I'm hurting on the inside...
Sometimes I just wish
That when I say
"I'm okay, really..."
You would look me in the eyes
And say "Tell me the truth!"
TO be honestly with you,
I'm really not okay...
The truth is...
I keep hurting myself...
Not cutting myself,
but hitting myself...
I don't want to be like this,
I want to be happy!
I'm tired of making up excuses
For the bruises on my body...
My head, my arms...
My legs, my ribs...
It's all from me
Always hurting myself...
You may think it's just a phase,
But the thing is that...
I've done it all my life,
and now it's starting to scare me...
I know I have a problem,
whether you want to
Admit it or not...
I have a serious problem...
I get really angry
Or annoyed about something,
There go my fists...
To my head, ribs, thighs, and arms.
Please, someone stop me
Before I really hurt myself!
Help me help myself...
I need help...
Maybe drugs will help,
But I'm not going to
Start back on that...
Never again!
Maybe antidepressants...
yeah, maybe those will work...
But how can I get them
If I don't have money to buy them?
Maybe talking to a shrink...
But I don't know,
I did that for a few years,
I still did it... only not like this.
I have to get some help!
I have to stop Abusing myself...
Have to stop doing this
I don't want to teach my son this...
Author notes
This is a very personal piece, I would really like it if you just told me what you think about it. I really do have a problem and I really need help!!!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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sad sad poem, but I also see the hope at the end - by admitting it is a problem and scary and looking for a solution - this is the first step in getting help. hope you found someone to talk to who could help you take the next step.
as a piece of poetry, it is very moving as I am in a dark place at the moment, but not physically hurting myself. thanks for sharing this.
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Thank you for your words.
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what can i say
it's difficult to compliment a poem that is so very moving and sad..i dont know what to say, i have been killing myself with drugs and booze..i do it because i do not like myself, and i punish myself for the hurt i have caused...but i am told the one must first love oneself..but it is so hard..my heart goes out to you...may you find peace...keep well..eric
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Thank you.
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Wow this is intense. I really don't know what to say about this. I've never heard of someone hitting themselves before but everyone has problems and its not just you. I know there are people out there who could help you but I'm just not sure who they're right now. I'm always here for you to talk to though.
And wow the longest reply to a poem I think I have ever seen is the one you have below. I didn't even read it but it just seems very long.
Good poem.
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I loveshed it!!!!! And, if you ever need someone to talk to, just let me know and I'll be there ^_^ Love ya, chickadee 
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Excellent
I also want to let you know if you ever need to talk then I am available through the internet melodytcromer@yahoo.com or here when Im on line which is most of the time. I care about you and I only wish you all the best take care of yourself and that child who adores you day and night!!! You now have a friend if you ever need one. It is nice to meet you. Your Freind Mel.
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wow
well let me be the one to jump right in here first off Honestly I feel should be honest** Now I am going to share a poem with you which I never share with anyone because I wrote it for my son when he was little and it was his birthday.
The Birthday Gift
No presents do I send to thee
no cake upon the shelf they'll be
I gave you all you'll ever need
I helped your Dad plant the seed
witgh each breath that you now take
comes from God and two loving mates
We gave a gift only you can use
and its one we hope you won't abuse
tis the gift of Life you have always enjoy it
love from Mom and Dad!
I share this with you because I want you to know that with each life there is held within a choice you can make good choices or bad choices but in the end you are the only one who must make these choices! I can not help those who can not and will not first be willing to protect their own lives. Love is unconditional and if you have a child that means you are the person this child will adore like it or not. You will have your arguments to be honest and get so upset you'll want to go plain crazy sometimes still you are only hurting one person in the end and that my friend is you.I want you to go to the mirror every day and say to your self I am a good person and I deserve a good life. I am a great mother and I am willing to make changes in order to have a great life one which I most certainly deserve!!!! If you ever doubt this then simply look into your child's eyes and you will see GOD at his finest there is no love more pure then a mothers love and in order to pass this on you must love your self first of all enough to not hurt your self and sek that which will be a turning point in both your lives! You are a good person never forget that and I am happy to know the real you and I wish you all the best in everything you do. Thank You for having this contest I enjoy a challenge and this has given me just that!!! Good Luck God Bless and Take Care of your self!! -
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Wow thank you very much for your words
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I can really relate to this, it reminds me a lot of how I felt when I adopted my daughter and decided I had to get help to stop doing drugs cos I didn´t want to put her through the pain I was going through. its great that you know you´ve got a problem and that you want to stop, it takes a lot of guts to admit something like this. a brilliant emotional piece.
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it is obvious that you are in a lot of pain...writing might help in many ways. I encourage you to keep doing that. But you might also want to share your pain with someone who cares and understands in your immediate world. I know that it can be a slippery slope in finding someone you can trust with your pain. You don't have to go through this by yourself. I wish you well and until then...I extend my hand in friendship...peace and light, Kendal
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thank you
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*hug*
Like my verdict says, It just makes me want to hug you, random person on the internets.
It was an interesting poem, it really made me empathise with me, but thats really what I do lots of the time. I know what its like to know you have a problem but just not get how you are supposed to tackle it. I cut. Not regularly, but still occasionally. And I know what its like to look at Psychs or Meds. Life is a bitch. Sometimes you need someone to say "Stop lying" and simply give you a hug.
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thank you
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