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Happy hello

Smiling in glory
Daisies waving in the breeze
I feel my mood lift

Author notes

Ok I don't know very much about KU but I think daisies are such a sunny happy flower, they always seem to be having fun so I couldn't resist having a go. I apologise in advance if my attempt is not a proper KU
Obviously I used your picture as a prompt http://winchester.smugmug.com/gallery/1660976_HGeSc/2/84399088_TCKin#P-3-16

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • condor gold member
    July 12

    Edit | Reply
    Three lines and a whole story told. Brilliant using the daisy as a sign of the lovely day you were experiencing. Thanks for the read.


    • Cherrylv
      July 12
      Edit | Reply

      condor

      Thanks so much for stopping by Condor and leaving such a lovely comment

      Cherry xxx


  • Peteskid gold member
    July 12

    Edit | Reply
    lovely short poem to tell about the feelings from seeing sights in nature that never cease to amaze and amuse us, very nice...PK


    • Cherrylv
      July 12
      Edit | Reply

      Peteskid

      Thanks Pete for such a lovely comment I'm so pleased you enjoyed it, nature can be soooo beautiful

      Cherry xxxx

  • Bruce silver member
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is all you dear! how to improve: look for two distinct images - you have one, the daisies waving in the field. the other part of the poem is how you Feel about the daisies, which is not a distinct image or a situation.


    • Cherrylv
      July 6
      Edit | Reply

      Bruce

      Giggles yep this is all me
      Ahhhh i think I know what you mean lol
      I'll put your advise to good use in my next KU

      Cherry xxx


  • Arkbear gold member
    July 5
    Edit | Reply

    Yes....filler words....*the.....and....is.....of.....that.....to....are....like...as*....can turn a simple KU' into a free verse shorty

     

    ....and using *in* as your adverb twice is a tad awkward -

     

    *I feel my mood lift*.....try not to tell us in so many words......watch..>>

     

     

     

     

     

     

    ~*~

    Smiling
    Daisies wave back

    mood changes

    ~*~

     

    .....this is my interpretation of what you have said without all the excess words blocking my view of your thoughts -

     

    Nice job,

     

    Bear -


    • Cherrylv
      July 5

      Edit | Reply

      Arkbear

      thank you so much Bear

      I see what you mean thank you for taking the time to help me

      Cherry

      • Arkbear gold member
        July 5

        Edit | Reply
        .....see you in the nxt KU' Contest

        Have a grrrreat week ahead

        Bear -


  • Frogzter gold member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    Nothing wrong with this KU persay... You used the traditional form which is great, but maybe it could have a little more impact if you shake it up a little and still end up with 17 syllables by leaving out a few of the filler words. Just my opinion. THis is quite nice all the same.

    Good luck and best wishes,

    Frogz~


    • Cherrylv
      July 5
      Edit | Reply

      Frogzter

      Ohhhh thank you I'm really grateful for your opinion. I do not know a lot about KU's so I am really pleased with your kind comments and the appluase
      Cherry

1 - 12 of 12