Under the silver,full new moon
next to the beach
listening to the song the wash of waves make
a couple are touching hands,
lying on the sand,
and looking at the stars...
They try to count them together...
but the whole night is not enough
so they'll be there again the next one
For them,counting millions of stars is not impossible,
not taking a long time
For them, time doesn't matter...
They need to be together...
nothing dirty...
just two persons in love
trying to do the undone...
There,into the middle of the night
you would see them stop
watch at each other for an hour
no words spoken...
The eyes are the mirror of a persons heart,soul...
and words destroy the feeling,the atmosphere
they are not good enough to express everything...
it is always something left...
Then the girl would close her eyes
go closer to the boy,and have him kiss her...
after she had taken her goodnight,
she would lie upon his shoulder,or upon his breast...
so that she can hear the beat of his heart
So quick,
a heart in love,
always beats faster...
especially when you hold the one that you love into your arms...
Into the great silence you would hear her whisper in her dreams
"I love you"
and an answer,would come out in the same way from the boy
"I love you too, and I always will"
They unite their hands,
although they are sleeping
they are connected in a different way
much more poetic...
They would both wake up at the same time
look again at each others eyes...
So the nights did pass...
and one day, they made
the counted all the stars...
They were both so happy to complete this
but also sad,that it had finished
Then the boy would knell on the sand,
he'd put out a ring,
and would offer it to her...
"Let the part of being just lovers end...
Let us be a couple that God will also bless...
My love, will you marry me???"
Tears would run down on the nose and cheeks of the little princess...
She couldn't breathe...
She was so happy and surprised...
The boy would wait for her to be ready...
After an hour,or two, she couldn't answer
so he made the question twice...
"Will you marry me???"
She looked at him,and she smiled
"Of corse I will my love...
what did you think???
You're everything to me...
So now, let death pull us apart..."
"I love you"...
So the two lovers went to the next level...
a level that will actually understand their true love...
the level of being a husband and wife!!!
The level of marriage...
A contest entry
- Rush Lovers by Angels hero.
1400 points, ended July 6, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites - What ever you like! by dutch2lips.
400 points, ended August 4, 434 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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such a sweet write, yes, i did like it
pity you have a few typo's in your poem
thank you for entering -
This is a splendid piece of work that you should be proud of. I am not normally a fan of "love" poems but this has a special resonance. Well done.
Because your work is so good I think you should be aware of some basic errors of English that, when corrected, will make your work sing even more. Here then are some items for concern:
"a couple is touching hands,"
should read "a couple are touching hands,"
Next four items all have spurious commas:
1.The eyes,are the
2. and words,destroy
3. especially,when you
4. but also sad,that it had finished
"They unite they hands,"
should read "They unite their hands,"
"So the nights did past..."
should read "So the nights did pass..."
"Then the boy would knell on the sand" should read "Then the boy would kneel on the sand"
"After an hour, she couldn't answer, or two" this doesn't make sense because you have split "or two" away from "After an hour"
You are careful about commas but I think your work would be improved with correct placement of periods (full stops)
Keep on writing.
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You do write epically long love stories. Well done for that.
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very well written. the imagery was superb and the bond between two ppl made even stronger by their love.
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This was really cute. I can relate to the girl in this relationship =) Which is truly an amazing feeling.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece.
-Kati -
This write is so subtle. I love the way that you have brought these two people from one plain of being to the next. Good luck with my contest.
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nice poem and pic lyk the part when u say
Then the boy would knell on the sand,
he'd put out a ring,
and would offer it to her...
"Let the part of being just lovers end...
Let us be a couple that God will also bless...
My love, will you marry me???"
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