+
she was frozen to the
swing in the same position
as yesterday. he could see
her legs, mottled rust
under the stained cotton
of a summer dress
the wind scratched at
his bones, and with a vague
unease, he realised she
was past feeling anything
+
Author notes
prompt (title): waterproof
p o l a j a
92/100
A contest entry
- &idon'tknowhowtolove; i get too tired after midday. by dieu..
401 points, ended July 14, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is a draft - be as harsh as you like.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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excellent poem!!!!
This is a wonderful poem!!!! Imergy is great!!!!! and your word use was fantastic!!! I really enjoyed this work of ''ART''!!!! BRAVO!!!!!! look foward to more readings in the future!!!! of yours of course!!!! lol!!!! ALWAYS, N.A. ANGEL
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I like how the visuals of this short poem vame over with such impact and clarity, I could have been there.very different, much enjoyed this .
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"vague unease"
Like, uncertainty of whether it's a shitty thing or not? I've totally had that.
-
'the wind scratched at
his bones'
Absolutely delicious.
-
mottled rust
-that is so damn pretty.
, he realised she
was past feeling anything
-fucking excellent ending. beyond words.
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Wow, you have a real gift.
This is beyond gorgeous.
It gives me a feeling of nostalgia
Beautiful.
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waterproof.
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