My wife is just making it sound worse than it was,
just like the last time it happen
when I came out of that bar at 1 am,
honestly, the owner said he needed
a knew glass door anyway
and that those days in the hospital
were a good break from my job at the mill.
Besides I could hardly be expected
to clean my bike in the garage,
there ain’t no room
what with all the things I’m trying to repair
like the lawn mower, my jet ski,
snow mobile and motor boat.
It is my fault they all had unnecessary extra parts,
which I had to take off to make them work better?
Merely taking a while to get them put back together,
heck six months ain’t that long.
Plus I need to keep the space on my work bench
for really important stuff
like my playboys and fishing lures
can’t expect me to put those just any old place.
Really, I swear it will work out fine,
like the time I slipped when using that electric saw,
hey the hospital sewed the fingers on and they’re doing fine,
still say that blade guard was unnecessary.
Now I suppose I’ll have to put up the Mrs.
bitching again about me
not having a license to drive my bike,
why I only use it on the road to buy beer,
so seems so unnecessary
just as expecting me to wear a helmet,
shoot I recovered great from that coma
when I lost control while chugging a brew.
Goes to show you can’t please some
no matter how hard you try,
suppose I’ll have to give in to her gripes
about needing life insurance too,
reckon I’ll agree after I get back
from my hunting trip with Otis
he can see fine without glasses
only mistook me once for a deer.
A contest entry
- BluesMan’s 1st Newspaper Article Humor Contest by BluesMan.
700 points, ended July 21, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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You managed to pack quite a bit of humor into a non rhyming poem. I really enjoyed reading this. It reminds me of the good old boys I use to drink with when I lived in rural Georgia. Thank you for entering my contest.
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LMBO
This sounded so much like some of the guys I grew up with. So what if I lost an eye fishing while I was drunk. It was just an accident and besides, I have another one.
This is great. Best of luck to you.
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Now, this is really good! You told an excellent story here. You should submit this to the short story section of Storywrite. People there would love it.
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lmao Oh my I'd be demanding life insurance as well
This is a real hoot
. I think you need a get well contest
best wishes with this one
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Hoot man...Accident prone or what..hmm.. Can see that wifie insisting on life insurance...Made me smile all the way through....You are a riot!
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lmao You always make me laugh and smile, Bro
Another priceless piece.
Lynda
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shoot what's the harm in that
you must be related to my husband
very funny bright side, and the glass is half full
God bless you my friend...
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