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Sleep Forever

“Sleep forever my dear

Lie your head down without fear.

Dream a dream that will make you scream and cry.

Just fly, fly, fly away my love and die.

Sleep forever, where ever you are.

Is it scary to go down, down far?

I watch you from up above.

Sleep forever in that suffering world.”

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • vampire blood
    July 5
    Edit | Reply
    it is good u have talint


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm. This is a great poem. I loved how you had it in quotations, as if you are speaking directly to someone unknown. However the underlining of the entire piece kind of drew from the attention to the poem. Great piece nonetheless.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • lacef
    July 5

    Edit | Reply

    ironic

    I thought it was gonna be a love poem. It was a 'when you see my face hope it gives you hell' thing. I dedicate your poem to my children's father.


  • Have left the stage gold member
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    "scream and cry"? Theme is Nigh would have put the dream into context, and the poem read with abated breath. It really would, if you are speaking of suffering. Screaming and crying would awaken a sleep, change it, I bet it will get brilliant comments. You have the feelings input, so, it's getting there.

    Take care. Titus


  • Kristen Kay
    July 4

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    What a horrible mother (I'm assuming) It is so sad .And yet I like it for that very reason.That Her mother would want to kill her daughter (again assuming).I really love the last line of this poem.


  • WuzGood
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    nicely done!!1 good rhyming and plot.


  • HumanoidTom
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    Corny


  • PinkeyPromise
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    is this a quote? its really good i lufers it! lol yay!

    ~Divine~

1 - 8 of 8