A man's home is his castle! That's what I've always said
and that is how to this unkindly ending I've been led
I'll tell you my sad story and you must believe it's true
for I am not the sort to pass a false hood on to you
It happened when I'd purchased me a fine new motor bike
the sort I'm certain every real manly man would like
such a prize I felt might be the object of bold theft
if I were not most careful about where it was left
And, so I brought my handsome motor bike into the house
and set about some small repairs unkown then to my spouse
I cleaned and oiled and lubed and polished and when I was done
I thought I'd kick it over once and listen to it run
Well, how was I to know the thing was already in gear
and even after I went through the wall it wasn't clear
My wife found me sprawled on the drive and called emergency
and then informed me there could be no bigger fool than me
They took me to the hospital and stitched me back together
and sent me home to bed because I was under the weather
My wife was so forgiving, cleaning up the mess and all
and even dumped the gas out in the toilet down the hall
You won't believe what happened next, in fact I barely do
but one catastrophe it seems can quickly turn to two
When I lit up a but and tossed the match into the stool
I got another lesson on who was the biggest fool
It blew me through the wall and out into the patio
my wife was in hysterics, calling 911 you know,
the paramedics, when they heard from my wife what I'd done
they laughed until they choked, but wait until you hear this one
and that is how to this unkindly ending I've been led
I'll tell you my sad story and you must believe it's true
for I am not the sort to pass a false hood on to you
It happened when I'd purchased me a fine new motor bike
the sort I'm certain every real manly man would like
such a prize I felt might be the object of bold theft
if I were not most careful about where it was left
And, so I brought my handsome motor bike into the house
and set about some small repairs unkown then to my spouse
I cleaned and oiled and lubed and polished and when I was done
I thought I'd kick it over once and listen to it run
Well, how was I to know the thing was already in gear
and even after I went through the wall it wasn't clear
My wife found me sprawled on the drive and called emergency
and then informed me there could be no bigger fool than me
They took me to the hospital and stitched me back together
and sent me home to bed because I was under the weather
My wife was so forgiving, cleaning up the mess and all
and even dumped the gas out in the toilet down the hall
You won't believe what happened next, in fact I barely do
but one catastrophe it seems can quickly turn to two
When I lit up a but and tossed the match into the stool
I got another lesson on who was the biggest fool
It blew me through the wall and out into the patio
my wife was in hysterics, calling 911 you know,
the paramedics, when they heard from my wife what I'd done
they laughed until they choked, but wait until you hear this one
They dropped me on the driveway while they nearly had a fit
and if that wasn't bad enough, to add insult to it
someone upstairs must hate me and they won't leave me alone
for when I hit the pavement, well,
I broke my collar bone.
Gold trophy winner
Adding your comment:
