I'm sorry...
I'm sorry I hurt you...
Im sorry I cannot be who you want me to be...
Without me,you would be much better off...
Without me,you wouldnt have to cover up...
Without me,you wouldnt have to hide...
Without me,you wouldnt have to lie...
Without me, you'd be dead...
Without me, you would suffer so much more...
Without me, you wouldnt have a shoulder to cry on...
Without me, you would have no one to love you...
I cannot help that i fell in love with you...
I cannot help that i am never mad at you...
I cannot help that im nothing you ever wanted...
I cannot help that im filled with happiness when i see you...
I cannot help that i cry hours over simple cuts...
I cannot help that i want to die after its all done...
I cannot help that i desperatly want to give you a future...
I cannot help that i want to make your life perfect...
The broken trust its killing me...
The broken honesty is ripping me apart...
The broken communication because of your ways...
The broken past that im so desperatly trying to fix...
Week after week, im changing for you...
Week after week, im giving up my support...
Week after week, im relying on myself...
Week after week, im decaying more within my flesh...
Week after week, im trying to be better for YOU.
Questions...
Do you know just how bad its gotten?
Do you know how bad you have gotten?
Do you know that i feel like your gonna breakup with me everyday?
Do you know you are making more excuses than ever?
Do you know that you are lying to me on a daily basis more than once or twice?
Do you know that your attitude towards me has gotten ridiculous?
Do you know that when you say you can leave, that i feel guilty?
Do you know that i feel that you want me to leave?
Do you know that i think thats what you want?
Do you know how many nights i've cried,thinking u'd be dead in the morning?
Do you know that if you did kill yourself, Id think i caused it?
Do you know that, even after all these questions I still love you for you?
Do you know that this is the best relationship ive been in?
Read these questions, and think about that...
If this is the best relationship...then just what were the others like?
What did you think
Comments
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Repetition is fun, and in moderation it sounds nice, I just think that this is a little too repetitive. Also, like raven said, if you want to be taken seriously (which I can tell from what you wrote), i would use the word "you" instead of "u". You have some great language in there, now try and strip it down and tweak it and refine it. This can be a great poem. Good job, and welcome!
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Welcome to Allpoetry
The one thing I noticed about this right away was that it was rather repititive. Perhaps think about editing some of the line beginnings to say something different so it reads as a poem not more like a list. Also perhaps edit the places where you have written 'u'd' instead of 'you'd' slang like this makes a poem presentation not look so good. You used the emotion well and it had good strength and force in the poem, just seemed a little repititive is all. Welcome to the site, if you have any questions please feel free to ask me.
Laura,
site-greeter. -
it didnt seem like a suicide poem, like the questions and the fear or upsetness..
Sad..but good poem.
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