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Karaethon Cycle:blood of the dragon

born in blood, and raised in dirt,
the dragons soul will have rebirth.
begin in on the grave of its long lost self,
the dragon here will find his help.
of old blood and noble blood,
the ancient blood would care.
across the map the dragon move,
a world soon full of fear.
as barriers do bend and break,
the father of lies,waits for his take.
trollocs, myddaalss, Draghkar and  hounds,
all for this one small boy to be found.
the father taps the pattern so,
to alter the odds, his chances then grow.
bubbles of evil fall from the sky,
tarmon gaiden is soon to arrive.
so buckle your boots you expendable pawn,
for the dragon reborn is salvation.

In a list

my first time, please constuctive cretics are greatly appreciated

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Night Rose
    July 14
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    angel warrior

    i like this poem it's nice i love dragons lol keep on writting


  • LionessK silver member
    July 6
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    welcome to allpoetry

    This is quite good, especially for a first time.
    You really do have some great lines written here. I too love the opening lines. Great descriptive details.
    That last line bugs me a bit... I tripped up on it as I was reading. Maybe if you rearrange it? Salvation is the dragon reborn?

    I enjoyed reading your words. I hope you will continue to share.



  • morgana raven Greeters member
    July 5

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    Welcome to Allpoetry

    Nice use of rhyme, I especially like your opening to the poem. Good use of wording and imagery the only thing I would suggest would be adding punctuation to help structure the poem a bit better. Other than that, great write and nice addition of the picture also. Maybe edit the background to help with the feel and tone of the poem?
    Welcome to the site, if you have any questions please feel free to ask me.
    Laura,
    Site-greeter.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    July 4
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    Welcome to AllPoetry!

    I really like the fantasy feel of this poem it is well done - the only thing that you might like to look at is that you have an uneven rhyme, it is there sometimes, and then it disappears - I think a consistent rhyme would make this poem amazing you are off to a wonderful start though!

    Welcome to the site, I hope that you enjoy your time here at AllPoetry!


    Polly
    Site Greeter