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Eleanor

she questions
his "faithfulness"


Clumsily, eagerly
he fumbles.


she laughs
when he whispers
"hypocrite"




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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • j i n gold member
    July 16
    Edit | Reply

    yeah. me too.
    Love this, thank you love.
    jin


  • DancingRed
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    First and last stanzas are my favourite. The middle of your poem is okay, but doesn't seem to have the same zest as the rest. I feel like I've heard the phrase 'painted lips' too many times before...
    Thanks for entering.
    DancingRed.

  • Macsword
    July 5
    Edit | Reply

    SMAO

    grinning from ear to ear here