Two loves have I that ne’er the both should meet.
In quiet suffrage I in comfort try
to hold them both, tho’ it be indiscreet.
One- angel be, in other, darkness lie.
Still fears have I my angel’s tender eyes
true heaven blue and all a heart requires,
oft times are liquid green as sad she sighs
to be my one and only her desire.
Yet nearness of the other (bye and bye,)
invoke in me the condiments of hell.
No measure to evade the lustful cry,
that burns a needy soul to ply her spell.
.Still driven by the dark one's lust filled night
.‘till love’s swift arrow choose where it alight.
Author notes
inspired by, The Passionate Pilgrim (Shakespeare)
A contest entry
- Inspired by Shakespeare by dreamsxcalling.
700 points, ended July 9, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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very well done. the story related using your choice of language works very well. i would say which lines i liked best, but really all of them are superb.
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I am dumbfounded by your poetic abilities. This is a bomb poem. Keep going!
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Dumbfounded? Ooo, very expressive,Thank you loafy you are welcome to comment anytime.
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Syntax and sin
I hope you do not take it amiss, when I point out that you need to get rid of the apostrophe , and leave the word as just 'sighs'. (Likewise, in your profile, there is an unwanted apostrophe inwhat should be 'days). As no-one else has mentioned, it seems wrong to spoil a ship for a ha'porth of tar.
I get the impression that as a man I am not likely to see into the poem, save insofar as these situations are universal. Congratulations on win
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Thank you again, I removed the,,,, I am hopeless there I don't mind admitting.
I think men are as capable as women and likely more so at relating to poems. they
are the old masters of the art.
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Bandit Reading List
This is a great poem! Thank you for participating in the reading list it is appreciated 
The Poetic Bandits
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There is definately a shakespearean feel about this poem, I stand in awe at someone who has the courage to try outside the box and do it so very well. outstanding dear. Congratulations on your trophy too
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Thank you for a great comment, It is much appreciated.
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The last two lines.... OUTSTANDING! Very wonderful write.
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Thank you for the wonderful encouragement.
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Outstanding
I liked this a lot- the way you drew their characters - both opposites to each other. The flow is excellent and the imagery thoughtful and well-chosen. Congratulations on the trophy.
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thank you for commenting, nice to her from you again.
R
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Outstanding
Oh...wow!
"invoke in me the condiments of hell"
"oft times are liquid green as sad she sigh’s"
Such wonderful poetic expression in this write, I am loving every bit. Hmmm...methinks I should use this as a benchmark by which to aspire.
Great rhythm, rhyme, subject and use of language. A pleasure to read this morning. Good luck...Alby
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Oooo thank you, 'Condiments,' spicy eh.
I had to work at this one but I really prefer doing this to other stuff. Thank you for liking, and I think your aspirations will win out very soon. Look foreward to them.
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Such a quandry, and a difficult choice, eh?? Love the shakespearean language, and excellent descriptions. Nicely done, and good luck in the contest! Lita
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Thank you Lita, I do things in fits and starts, right now I am reading Will's
sonnets. I am pleased you liked this one
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very well written
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Thank you for your kind comment.
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This was one amazing poem. I loved it, it was a real joy to read. You worded it perfectly. Keep up the great writeing. It was wonderful.
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Thank you for reading, Amazing I like.
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Still driven by dark angels lust filled night
.‘till love’s swift arrow choose where it alight.
Humm..great words...great image..and great impression dear friend..thank you so much for sharing such a poetry... -
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Thank you Prabhu, as this was so very easy a write and I enjoy sharing
thank you for dropping by.
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