Burdened with the dew
the night can no longer hold.
Erection is lost upon each blade,
as the grass yields
to the will of gravity.
The night sky is a cocoon
of comforting numbness,
pierced only by the stars.
In the end, they flicker brightly
tearing asunder the security
of Gods flawed blanket
giving birth to the dawn.
Gone is the reprieve
that shields my heart
from all the burdens
weighing so heavily
on my waking mind.
The cosmic forces of nature
manifest the destiny
that turns the cycle of life
of which no man can stop.
The slings and arrows
of days gone past
are the building blocks
of my character.
My unrealized fears
are shrouded in the mist
of a future,
I am powerless over
until it's timely arrival.
Only the cosmic light within
can lay still, the unrest
that robes me, of the day
and the joy of living in it.
If I still myself and listen
to the moral conscience
that echo’s from my soul,
I can feel the whispered ripples
of divinties connection.
Universal love washes over me
with the gift of enlightenment.
Liberating me from…
the prison of my mind.
In a list
A contest entry
- BWOW...Best Write of the Week #12 with aboomer, Starz of Heaven, and islekine by islekine.
700 points, ended July 10, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Wonderful incite and well written. Thank you for sharing.
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Love it
this is awesome and very good I love it blues. It reminds me of sorrow, and the mant struggles that people face.
thank love sakura avalon -
wow this is a very good piece! I love how you wrote it! Absolutely amazing! Keep up your amazing work!!! Congratulations on your honorable mention!!!
TwiztidMaggot -
this is really good, i enjoyed the read, take care
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I love the way you have used you words and phrasing to give your poem a little shark that is more than detail. Like with this quote
' My unrealized fears
are shrouded in the mist
of a future,'
You can tell that the language is not your own but you have made it your own special language that us as the readers can connect to.
You deserved that price for this wonderful piece it is a shame you did not get a higher prize in return.
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Very nice write. I'm in need a a spiritual pick me up and this poem lends me a hand. Though poetry can only take the mind so far. It would seem more power must come from elsewhere.
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I loved it. You don't need no criticism. You don't need to revise it. Its perfect the way it is. Your wonderful at writing poetry. Two thumbs on that one. Keep going on your awesome poetry. Wonderful.
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There is so much beauty and depth in this write! So many things I can relate too. This is a write that when done reading it, it feels like I had a delicious meal! Lots of food in this! Exellent! Pam
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wow hey that was really neat! I love the depth that this had. The corilation between life in general and nature as a whole was astounding. I love how you cortasted this toward the end to a more positive out look. It really was very good I am really glad I got to read it
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Good One
I love it. I can kind of relate. I'm pretty much a night owl, and hate waking up. Could sleep all day if my mother would let me... -
AMAZING!
Very beautiful. I loved it. -
This is soulful, substantial and in-depth. Powerfully penned with a nice choice of words, and the imagery employed is rich and vivid. The last three stanzas are amazingly bright, being full of light!! Way to go....
~Keep shining~ -
wow, BEAUTIFUL! I dont think I've read a better night piece about nighttime, this was magical!
Thanks for sharing, keep writing!
x
(: -
Excellent approach
Even in the worst imprisonement of the night-darkness, tranquility in the light, still becomes a life-rescueing path to our every freedom. -
there were many lovely lines within this poem to enjoy!
Burdened with the dew
the night can no longer hold.
I was going to list many of my favorite lines
but ....I'd be replicating the entire poem within this message!
Big hugs to you brother!
This is a beautiful and powerful poem.
I loved how you dearly did not fear to write out every single word and breath.
Fabulous!
Love dwells powerfully within your ink and soul!
ears/Seattle
way to write!
wow!
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Thanks ears, your opinion means a lot to me.
On my home page, one of the headings in my lists, is "Soulful/Spiritual" I need to add this poem and several others to this already long list.
Bill
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ditto
I totally agree with everything said below and to add i loved the picture and the background, this was beautiful and i want more I need to read more
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Thank you for your comment.
On my home page, one of the headings in my lists, is "Soulful/Spiritual" I need to add this poem and several others to this already long list.
Bill
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Being a rhymer I usually find anything else so hard to understand but this is beautiful in its flow and content. Even I can see it is a quality write.
Sheila
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Once again...
another very creative, well penned piece...thanks so much for your continued support of our contests! We look forward to your entry!
Best wishes always!
and
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Another well-done entry from you! Wonderful wording and images. I much enjoyed this.
Nicely done.
thank you for your entry
best wishes in the contest
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You speak for all man (and women) in this poem but in your case the character building from dealing with pain is a beautiful thing to read. You have penned a wonderful poem, best of luck.
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This is just stunning and then I thought his writes always are
Lovely wording wonderfully penned so much talent in these contest it is never easy to judge thank you for coming out in support of us best wishes always be well.
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Thank you Stars,
I'm sincerly flattered.
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Wow..this is probably one of the best pieces of poetry I have read in awhile. Simply beautiful.. I wish you all the best.
Linda
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