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And On Till Tomorrow

Enthusiasm makes
                                perfect fliers

launches hormonal exuberance
                                youthful haste

into uncertainty
                                too much for some

not yet knowing
                                the drumbeat of blood

but falling anyway.

Author notes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwQmDvuORY0
Glosoli = Glowing Sun

What an incredible video!

A contest entry

Please Crtique - I intend to revise this.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • crivanea silver member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    Incrediable! What wise words! I love this short write that tells of so much and hint of more... Great write.. Not a word wasted .. Best wishes in the contest! Only suggestion I have is maybe shortening the third line? Quite a mouthful.. Just an opinion ^_^


  • Patpowers silver member
    July 5
    Edit | Reply
    Artfully done Beth! I liked the expressive feeling in this work. THANKS AGAIN!


  • XxGoldenxXDawnxX
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    Poetry is a work of art, and this is exactly that. I like how you've written this in such a way that we must pause and take it in. I also like how you can read it differently - and what it means.


  • enlightenedatheist
    July 3

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    interesting style of writing, not what i am used to but i love seeing new things...this was great and lovely to read