when the eyes were fixed on the sea
tilted gulls and sights white caps made
feelings rolled like the waves, still early
the sun removed a gauzy shade
and blue sky set golden tendrils free.
When eyes were set on a deep blue bend
as pendant thoughts crossed waters
i would see the sky's glow in her skin
her spirit flow within, to wonder
drawn by the moon of her wants to tend
the gravity of needs. So still there,
I would be near as this whispered day
had i been so close, within the calm
and turned her love of winds and spray
into the waters within my palms
as touch reduces the world to its simplest ways.
She would be a breeze on my skin
salt on my lips, the whole busy buzzing world
of sands, tides, and movement; then
i'd belong there, like gull wings and sails curled
when eyes were fixed on the sea, again- just there...
near a misted swale, in the sweetness she'd inhale
and the happiness she'd loose into the air
A contest entry
- Thank you, Carolyn by Sonja.
5000 points, ended July 17, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Yes, I'd say love poetry as well ...
but a much more sophisticated variety than one normally sees here.
All in all, a very good job.
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I enjoyed your write -- the word choice and imagery. In a way, it qualifies as love poetry. In my opinion.
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Very breezy read. I needed it this morning
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This is a bit different rhyming style, it reminds me of my own
I like the open stanzas and non conventional number of lines. 
~Sonja~
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BRAVO Poet!
If I had to choose a stanza among these great lines, this one excites:
She would be a breeze on my skin
salt on my lips, the whole busy buzzing world
of sands, tides, and movement; then
i'd belong there, like gull wings and sails curled
But the entire write is just so damn well structured no line could be separated without doing damage to the whole.
My this is excellent.
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Ah...where my heart is, in the breeze of the sea..to be near her...You have captured my attention in this write..beginning to end with your imagery...One at one with the sea...
penning as always...
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this is so tranquil and really reminds me of the beach. ah, it was so lovely there...
the second-to-last stanza is my favorite. it gives the rest of it closure, and just the way you worded it in general is solid and image-ridden.
nice job! best of luck to you in the contest you've entered. -
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thank you...you changed your name...
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you're welcome.
you knew me from before? I don't remember when. but thanks for noticing. ^^
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