there you were, lying
on tabletops of desperadoes
counting cabinets, closing
off the ends of needles
refusing treatment of gold and silver;
pirana-fast i stole your incense
the only thing keeping you awake
and i swept up your cloak
bringing you to safety.
and here i dreamt
we were children,
always protected and
always ready.
and there i dreamt
we were adults again
making lies up,
making spaghetti.
Author notes
lyrics-inspired.
i saw the decemberists live recently.
it changed my life a little.
A contest entry
- here I dreamt I was an architect. by etoile.
2825 points, ended August 20, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
oh, say what you mean
Comments
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pirana --> piranha
I love this. the two stanzas seemed so different to me, as if they were two different poems almost.
I love the imagery and metaphor in this write, the ending is brilliant.
I'm so jealous you saw them, that must've been one amazing show.
goodluck and thanks for entering
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awesome
"and here i dreamt
we were children,
always protected and
always ready."
-this is true poetry with meaning.
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I think 'sphagetti' is my favourite word now! The last stanza was lyrical. 'pirana' should be piranha but besides that this was a pure bliss to read. The Decemberists have that effect on a lot of people. lol.
Anansey -
woah...PERFECT rhyme in the ending stanza. I wouldn't half mind rhyming poems if they could be written in the meter and with that type of originality. You know my work well enough to know that I enjoy a little slant rhyme now and then when done correctly. Beautifully written.
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