Where isolation grows with every breath,
a sleepless world survives and tells a tale
of desolation where the north winds rail,
a land of silence, prisoner to death.
On vaulting cliffs the sea gulls swoop and glide,
their barren wings as chalk-white as the land,
where restless breakers storm along the sand,
as lonely as the landscape and the tide.
The gloomy darkness suffocates the sky,
the gothic moon deserted by the night,
is hidden by the cloud banks out of sight,
without her how the heavens fade and die.
The night is mute, her gleaming towers fade,
as sky and land stand frozen and betrayed.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Still, I love how you've described the sea gulls' flight! I love with what fine economy you've described the breakers: "restless". What a perfect word! And the word "storm" used for their movement. That last line brings home the desolation of the scene.
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Oh how beautiful!!!!! I love your description of the seagulls: how it captures their wheeling flight and the sense of bleak despair of the scene! What drama in this line: "a land of silence, prisoner to death"!
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beautiful imagery
I really like the last two lines the idea that the sky and land are betrayed by the moon being obscured by clouds. Also the opening lines isolation growing with every breath. To be alone bathed in moonlight is magical to be alone in the dark something else entirely.
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Nice work. It flows so naturally and the imagery is just awesome. Keep up the great work!! Cheers!!
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Great writing
It's title encompasses this poem!
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ah the storm imagery once more, the world's winds, which blow across poetry's sighs as light meets dark in heavenly glow and sorrow, where death stalks the stars. a good poem.
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I simply can not critique this poem. It is one of the most beautiful poems I've read. The only thing I could possibly say, and it doesn't mean a thing, is perhaps I would break it up and put a space between the stanza's. Other than that, I can't find anything wrong.
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Some poets have such a wonderful feel for sonnets. This reads as if it all comes naturally to you- I admire that.
Only one line stopped me here. Line 6 talks of "their barren bones." Does this refer to the cliffs or the sea gulls? The reference isn't clear and if we are dealing with skeletal sea gulls, the poem takes a sudden turn to the bizarre!
Very well done. Buff
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This is really stunning. The imagery is outstanding; beautifully written.
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Your usual flair for those wonderful sonnet. Rhyme and flow take the reader through lovely descriptions and images of realscape and metphor of life. Caught in a lull to absorb the beauty along the beach as hidden weather waits to come ashore that could lay the land desolate.
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Unbetrayed
From isolation's desolation joy
may vault to halt salt tears, despondency,
remotivation thus may re-employ
energy to set fair spirit free
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this is wonderful done and I agree with Individuality; you should publice your poetry/sonnets in a book...on lulu.com for example...Love the lines: " the gloomy darkness suffocates the sky, the gothic moon deserted by the night" superbe personifications!
Erwin
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you should seriously consider getting a book ut with all your poems in, i would buy it! and i mean that, i would not be like those that say when are you etc and nver do. it would be great if you collected all these great sonnets into a book and the others that are not sonnets.
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