Life as we know it in 2009

Today I awoke to the electric clock set to daylight saving
and daylight saving was over...damn..back to bed
News reports of my kidnapping were grossly overstated
Its just some press junkie that thinks I'm overrated
so we drank orange juice on the Terrace with the paparazzi

I keep a pink Chihuahua in my man-bag for protection
It helps when I am mugged during astral projection
You know i was the Agar Khan in another life
and Cleopatra was my live in partner/wife

We have a wonderful prenuptial agreement

Dear diary remind me of my appointment to get my chest waxed
If I'm not careful I may also have to get my thingies packed
Memo to self ..this year do not wear budgie smugglers to the beach
We all get together at Starbucks Original coffee shop
That place where yah dunk the whole biscuit till it goes plop

Next week I'm doing the centre spread in Man magazine
And it ain't holding back jack
you can see right through the centre crack
Its fun being a celleratee we even have sugar with late' and tea
Tonight we go to the Disco to celebrate world peace

Now ...we go shopping !!!!
Credit cards ready....Gucci to the right ..Armani to the left
blood sport for the modern man...