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vulnerable

watch my hands
close, lest your eyes deceive you
stay within my eyes to discern the ripe moment
when my will descends
like a curtain on the stage
to end the acting

if you could read my thoughts
you would rend the veil between
and the bridge of my thoughts
would extend a fearless welcome

If you would read my words
i'd gladly share the worth of my life
holding for the precious "all", that
universe behind my blinking eyes

watch my words with kindness,
for they carry no offense to any man;
for i am like all men : an unworthy judge,
sinned against and sinning
but  know no way back
to change things i regret most

so I have learned to forgive
but would not play fool for all earth
and have learned not to forget;
but i have passed the test
where men exceed
even the great passion of their loving God

whose patience is endless, strength in forbearing
yoke of forgiveness as light as a prayer

we, of gifted seats at the table of time,
have a flea's hair for patience
and a ceaseless memory.


Author notes

Revealed

by CelticMoon


Twin spirits ~
identical in reflection,

perform
rhythmic striptease ~
an excavation


Self beliefs
discovered false
beneath layered masks worn

True strength blossoms
lies in vulnerability revealed

http://allpoetry.com/poem/2585430

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • B Chandler
    July 17
    Edit | Reply
    94

  • I like, and being a title freak...your title really captured me...smile


  • DogFish silver member
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    "watch my hands
    close, lest your eyes deceive you
    stay within my eyes to discern the ripe moment..."

    This is not poetry...this is theater!

    Two/thirds through a thought passed in my mind; " this is SO good the end can only disappoint..."
    I can only say; I was so happy when it did not!

  • "to end the acting" ... a life without pretense or conceit, forgiving and being forgiven...allowing ourselves to be discovered...so beautiful, PK, and the essence of intimacy. How much more deeply, in fact, do we love those in whom we have trusted so much of ourselves.

    I love this idea of the "gifted seat." I'm not for sure if you allude to this precisely or not, but I am reminded of the parable Jesus told about a man invited to a feast who presumed to take a seat at the head of the table, but was shamed when he was asked to remove himself to the last one. That time should allow us such a seat of forbearance, and lighter yolk, whether from a loving God, from another or even toward our own selves, is truly a gift. But it does require the work of...vulnerability, in either case.

    ...the 'ripe moment when my will descends"...such a turning point if we can reach it.

    Such wonderful thoughts here and so much to consider. I am certain I will return to do just that.


  • Night Hope gold member
    July 3

    Edit | Reply

     
    This is such a lovely & sensitive response to Belle's poem, Poet Man. I'm sure she'll be quite thrilled by your amazing words. 
     
     

  • Rowan gold member
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    Such a feeling of acceptance here, pk.
    I loved that second last line;
    flea's hair for patience
    lol. Excellent.


  • raw love
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    very nice. a good sense of depth is felt here.

  • Aries gold member
    July 3
    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    A terrific write very thoughtfully written

  • When I read your work, and I certainly read more then I comment on, I am always struck by your originality, your unusual take on familiar themes. However, I must confess that, in spite of that, I am trouble by the occasional use of images, metaphors which strike me as unnecessary and, frankly, tired. Here I am thinking of the first two stanzas where we have curtains, stages, veils and bridges. And I wonder why you resort to these over used ideas when you have a vivid imagination to create your own conceits, take the wonderful 'a flea's hair for patience' as an example. Another reason I took objection to this collection of metaphors is because it detracted from the mood of the poem and clouded my head with distractions. I hope you don't mind this comment. I don't mean to sound too harsh.


    • Peteskid gold member
      July 3
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Andrew-
      I appreciate your ideas, it is always welcome to have your voice, something very valuable if we will grow...never too harsh, my friend...i'm not finished growing!!....thanks for all ...PK


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    "a fearless welcome" - yes, what more does anyone need than that? i remember Leo Buscaglia saying "vulnerability is to let it all out" and that no relationship can flourish without it. a beautiful poem of depth that really spoke to me this morning. thank you for this one, PK - your words resonate within me.

    ~ Nicolette

    • Peteskid gold member
      July 3
      Edit | Reply
      Nicolette~
      You too bring a welcome voice this morning. I think that it takes a lot of courage to live this way, to share so much with another, or others; but i have to agree the rewards are also enormous, someone might actually love us for who we are, and share our time... Thanks for all...PK

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