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Containment Of Pain

half awake,
Dreams I fake.

Learning to love the pain,
Counting drops of rain.
Thoughts of you I won't contain.

Left me without a smile,
Now driving miles.

Happyness hard to find,
Feelings trying to combind.

Brakeing down inside,
mountains of tears to hide.

Sweet sayings,
Deep feelings weighing.

A single touch,
From you I miss a bunch.

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • UnbreakableSoul gold member
    July 13
    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    Very Good Hellzkitkat.
    This is your work and the spelling is your art.
    I appreciate it.


  • tarcus
    July 12

    Edit | Reply
    Not often I agree with all things written in comments...
    The remarks about spelling should be noted.
    Whenever possible in my opinion the poet shoud take heed of these comments and use them to improve the work and its presentation.


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    July 3
    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to Allpoetry

    Aside of the spelling mistakes this was a really good read. I think perhaps you should spell check this write as correct spellings helps a lot in presentation of a poem. Very nice write. Welcome to the site, if you any questions please feel free to ask me.
    Laura,
    Site-Greeter.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    July 3

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to AllPoetry!

    The rhyme in this poem is interesting - although you really need to run this through a spell-check the content is well presented and I liked the read

    Welcome to the site, I hope that you enjoy your time here at AllPoetry!


    Polly
    Site Greeter