my soul
is being taken away
washed in the stream
of a thousand tears
my body lies there,
lifeless
on the sharp, jagged ground
a rock
digging its pointed edge
into the space
where my heart was
I lay there
dying
feeling all that is,
and ever was,
slip away
riding a current
I wasn't meant to ride
the salty water
flows over my head
consumes
takes me away
I am forever lost
and all I am is gone
A contest entry
- Deep, Dark and Lovely by Shantti.
400 points, ended October 6, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what does this need to be better? pick out your favorite and least favorite parts.
Comments
-
This is an awesome take on the prompt! I love what you've done with it. This is just totally remarkable. I like the way this is written, with lots of expression and felling, it's like you put your self within.
I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for entering
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I'm also gone in the midst of relations, emotions and feelings..
how painful naa? It is.. too much
keep writing
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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amzing write i like the part "my body lies there, lifeless on the sharp, jagged ground a rock digging its pointed edge into the space where my heart was I lay there dying....
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wow, u are an amazing poet. u put so much feeling into your poetry. knowing u the way i do i can tell most of these things are things you really felt. again amazing.
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