The questions that follows...
"Why?"
What is it about?
How did this happen?
One rises and another falls...
"Why?"
Does it have to be?
Will it ever change?
Belief to dashed dreams...
"Why?"
Trust things don't have to stay this way, to repeat the same mistakes.
I know, I just know, that I know...
"Why."
Audrey Evans
7/2/2009
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Nice job. It does make one think about why things are as they are, But I do agree with the person below me, the spacing is a bit much. Great job otherwise.
*~*Night Mistress 1*~* -
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Thank you for your commen, I have fixed the spacing as you suggested and I find that you were right. Once again thank you.
Audrey Evans
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I think it would be a little better if there weren't big breaks after every line.
If you would like a better suggestion on that, let me know.
But other than that, it was sad and I'm sure people can relate to this.
It was good, but it seems like it's missing something.
I'm not sure what though.
If you do end up revising this, I would like to read the revised version.
Keep on writing -
woooow great!
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i like this as it is thoguht provoking however, i would to have more insight on this piece from the writers standpoint. perhaps something in the AN to give me more?
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Cheers!
I especially like this line: Belief to dashed dreams...
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