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a thunder storm

a thunder storm
during school assembly -
principal's speech

Author notes

Thanks to Allexis Reed for inspiring this haiku.

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • Bruce silver member
    July 17

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    LOL Love it! Wonder whether it would be even more hard hitting if it could be made more concise . . . just a thought.

  • yourguardianangel
    July 9

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    I get a better understanding of haiku from u, but struggle in my attempt to match your work : ) it's imagery without any unnecessary words..quite lovely


  • Odds and Ends
    July 8

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    oh, goodness.

    this small piece of brevity is wonderful. I love haiku-- there are always so many conjured pictures from this small powerful pieces of art. This one is no exception. thank you or this delightful write!


  • Haperitz
    July 8

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    Great

    I can see so much through these lines! The one I see, beyond the obvious, is a tempestuous speech, like some of the anti-drug/anti-gang assemblies of my youth. They got loud and violent, much like a thunder storm.


  • therenaissancegirl
    July 6

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    I love haikus. They're so simplistic and stripped of all necessities, but they get the point across nonetheless. I love how this can have several meanings--a kid bored out of his mind who prefers to listen to the thunder outside, or maybe a really loud and spit-flying tragedy for the kids in the first row (I've been there lol), or the thunder so loud that the attention is on it, not the speaker. But yeah, I really like this lol

  • CavalierEternal
    July 3

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    This one made me smile pretty wide. I could just totally imagine a thunderstorm making the sound equipment not work so the kids don't have to hear their principal speak. I love the fact that I could get that whole image from three lines.


  • Kappa Pyua
    July 2

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    This reminds me of teen movies and ways kids might amuse themselves while listening to something they thought to be dull. Thanks for sharing, I know it's been a while, UNT.


  • crivanea silver member
    July 2

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    lol!! haha...u can take this several ways!...perhaps the principal's speech is so dull..that a thunderstorm captures the children's attention...perhaps the principal is so loud that he is like thunder! ...perhaps the mood inside the assembly is like the storm outside..wet/dismal..n inattentive..ha! nice write


  • Sai Babas Lotus
    July 2

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    LOL....excellent stuff! I could visualise this very well. I have a school, but kids call me the kindest soul on earth and the nicest teacher. I imagined this so clearly..there are more tough Prinicpals...

    All the best,
    Char


  • Draig aine gold member
    July 2
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    very nicwe ah ha! and very true!


  • thelordreigns gold member
    July 2

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    I really like this one! As a teacher myself, I have sat through too many of these "storms."

    - joanne -

1 - 11 of 11