there will be silence in the room
and eyes staring at the window
to search for the sight of the moon
there will be silence in the room
just the sound of my heart's tune
longing to see you in the moon's halo
there will be silence in the room
and eyes staring at the window...
In a list
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Hi Poet:
This piece is tender, strong, deep and thought provoking;
longing, searching, holding on with hope are felt
strongly throughout. A sense of yearning was
conveyed very elegantly even though there is also
simplicity in this fine work. I love how the repetitions
put all together giving the reader the ooo's and ahhhh's.
I have enjoyed reading you. Thank you for sharing this piece
with me, I know I will be back for more later.
Blessed be,
AngelicMistress...Tanya
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i get the oh and the oo's they give this the gentle thump of heart beat that i think in understated in this piece. longing, searching, holding on with hope are strong throughout. this is one of those short yet potent writes that you have developed a strong talent for.
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This is nice and the repitition seems new in the poem as you read enjoyed
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There is a wanton desire written here between the lines. The room is filled with longing. It's been a while since I tried my hand at this form. Your ease of words makes me yearn to place the pen to parchment. Beautiful and heartfelt!
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Thanks Dear Renee, I love writing Triolets, specially when had been so hard to write free verse, the repetitions help to fill the page
Big kisses and loves to you
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I could hear the silence in every pause. Simple yet effective.
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There is calmness to your better work that is quite enchanting. --- Like this. Thank you
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excellent
Really enjoyed this read sis.........
I and love how you repeated those few lines
A beautiful and inspirational triolet
Hugs
Your sis
Susan~~~
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an immense sense of yearning conveyed so elegantly.
fine work indeed.
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Brings to mind the separated lovers and the phrase,
"Even though distance separates, I will still be looking at the
same moon as you"
Hugs...Eddy
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Mari, it is so beautiful
I love it so much
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And while you are away,
the words fill up the window pane,
travel to the moon and back,
awaiting the Mari-touch
to bring them to the page!
Love and hugs---and soaring well-wishes to you!
M-C
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It's beautiful, and I am sure there will be two eyes staring at the window.
Of course you'll be back. I'm not done annoying you yet.
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lol
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you know, reading this triolet, reminded me of what a delightful form it actually is. i've only written one, lol - this beautiful, glowing moon triolet of yours make me want to try my hand at one again.
pragtig, Mari...don't stay away too long...
~ Nicolette
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This one is special...mesmerizing, I think. This seeking is so full of expectation, like the speaker is on edge, right on the verge of something. The silent anticipation builds throughout, I think, and we are convinced it will be answered with return of something deeply missed. Beautiful poetry.
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Inspirational words:
Such a thoughtful Moon
a silence that seems to speak
beams in tranquil tunes
Such a thoughtful Moon
its seas of peace glow, soon
to welcome those who seek
Such a thoughtful Moon
a silence that seems to speak
all the best...h
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