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Freak Show

step right up step right up
come up and see the freak
a criminal broke by life
a broken sobbing geek

step right up step right up
come peer into his soul
see the hurt that he has caused
and how broken he is whole

step right up step right up
this is the freak show
there's only one that we've got
so crowd around or go

step right up step right up
the rapist and the killer
when you see him sitting there
you can see that he's a chiller

step right up step right up
these metal bars will hold
their look may be plastic
but trust what you're told

step right up step right up
there's sticks and rocks for kids
beat him 'till he begs to stop
than let the adults in

step right up step right up
he's not broken enough quite yet
called a freak and beaten
there's more we could do i bet

step right up step right up
lets chain him to the ground
and now should we finish him
or leave him how we found

step right up step right up
so he can see the girl he raped
watch him cry so we can laugh
his pride broken and scraped

step right up step right up
see apologies in his eyes
i guess we can forgive him
with our sharpened kitchen knives

step right up step right up
the animal's alive
a twenty-two at point black
right between the eyes

step right up step right up
it's time to put me down
if you don't do it than i will
so please son don't you frown

step right up step right up
see me here behind this cage
torment me and ridicule
let out all your rage

step right up-

--  EMOverlord

Author notes

E M O v e r l o r d

A contest entry

Comment.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Fallen-Thumper
    September 26

    Edit | Reply

    thank you for entering

    this piece is brillaint and i relaly loved it. great job and good use of imagery
    good luck and thanks for entering!
    -Penguin-


  • skilter
    August 10
    Edit | Reply
    this is very cool, thank you for entering my contest!


  • Antebellum
    July 27
    Edit | Reply
    hmm.. Ive commented this before.
    Its an excellent write. I really enjoyed it, but you've already won a silver in a contest of mine not to long ago..so Im not certain it would be fair for this to place again.


  • crivanea silver member
    July 25
    Edit | Reply
    I like the intensity of this poem but as a reader who doesn't like repetition I suggest you delete the repeating lines and only have it once or twice.. A poem should be made up of careful words that speak to the audience if
    the words are well chosen they don't have to be repeated.. Repetition destracts the readers but beside that I like the depth of this poem because you
    picked a topic that is important in society .. Good perspective in this write

  • Antebellum
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    'step right up step right up'

    I really like the repetion of this line.
    It adds depth...make this more powerful.
    It remindes me of a rap..or a song of some sort.


  • Antebellum
    July 5
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering && Good luck

    [if you end up a finalist I'll leave a more detailed comment]


  • prankstar
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    > < your poetry is amazing...it always makes me feel...i love you...and i never once blamed you...ever....


  • redbarchettadrive gold member
    July 2
    Edit | Reply
    Great write! Good luck!


  • Antipodi
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    wow the dark side of human curiosity a circus of dark deeds excellent write dear poet...good luck in the contest

1 - 9 of 9