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Freddy Gets Fisycal




I don't care.

I don't care.

I DON't CARE.



Who are you to tell me how to behave,

from the start of my life, I've always disobeyed

and you have no right to tell me what's wrong or right,

you're not a perfect role model, there's so many messed up people in my life.

Mother drinks, Dad's on deathrow

and other things they don't think I know.

Sure I may get angry, I may need meds,

but I'm more saner than half of you,

who tell me to shut up and be a kid

Who the hell are you!

Who the hell are you!

Who the hell are you!

Author notes

Fred Figglehorn


Man difficult.

But that's okay.

A contest entry

-;--:-

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Shades of Pale silver member
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    Title: 9/10
    Content: 20/20
    Originality: 20/20
    Imagery: 9/10
    Grammar/Spelling: 10/10
    Prompt: 20/20
    Emotion: 10/10

    Comments: Omg wow... This is just... wow. It must of been a hard write so kudos to you for making it this great. So it was a very good peice and wow... here are my ratings in words

    Title was good but it didn't throw me as the best. I would've liked it to be a tad bit more original. But still you deserved a 9!

    The content made me gasp it was perfect or near to it. this poem was wow.

    Oraginalty was perfect I mean I don't know who he is but still great work! I mean it could be... wait nope great work!

    Wow it showed me a lot great work!

    Grammar and spelling were awesome! great work! your a walking spellcheck.

    Prompt you stuck to it but... I have no clue who Fred is! I guess thats my fault

    Emotion was so raw I loved it.

    Overall: 98/100


  • No Quarter
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    very nice, looks like a contest winner to me (i don't even have anything to do with the contest nice job

  • speak slow
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    Title: 10/10
    Content: 15/20
    Originality: 20/20
    Spelling/Grammar: 10/10
    Prompt: 19/20
    Imagery: 7/10
    Emotion: 10/10

    Comments: This wasn't too bad! Yes, I understand this was a tough challenge, but it will strengthen your versatility. I thought the anger thing was good, but I would've liked for the poem to be a bit funnier? Fred is a funny character, not too serious, which potrayed he was serious throughout the poem.

    I did like the title, especially with the mispelling. That was creative! Overall, I think you kind-of captured the essence of Fred. Good job and good luck!

    Overall: 91/100


  • Lady Australis silver member
    July 1
    Edit | Reply
    awsomely written


  • Kappa Pyua
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    yep, this made me do my reserach and i'm still not done. This definately sounds like a difficult character. Good luck in the contest.

1 - 5 of 5