wind falls on the cottonwoods
like a soft cool rain
sprinkled lightly upon the spirit
beneath clear skies
one by one the hosts
of distant worlds
peek out through the void
clearing away the dusk
to the west a column vaults
black against the night
holding the inmost eye
fixed on her sudden stance
in the dark a deer-drum
follows the sound of prayers
resounding through the shadows
to the stars
In a list
Thoughts, Feelings, Interpretations, Experience:
Comments
1 - 44 of 44
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You did a very nice job laying it out, almost as if the reader was there, staring at things through your eyes. Imagery was stunning.
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And that was, in part, the goal--to give the reader a piece of my own experience. Not by "telling", but by "showing". Glad you enjoyed.
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I lived in northern Ontario for two years, and the summer solstice was amazing. The night never got really dark, there was a strip of light along the horizon that never got dark, and slowly came back to daylight. This poem took me back to those moments and the beauty of that time and place.
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I wasn't quite that far north, but I was far enough north to get an idea what the darkless nights might be like. Glad you enjoyed this little strip of poetry.
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wow...this is a truly amazing poem...it left me wanting to read more, but it's perfect the way it is. A true masterpiece. I love the stanze "to the west a column vaults
black against the night
holding the inmost eye
fixed on her sudden stance" Your an incredible poet. Please keep writting. it would be a trajic loss to poetry readers if you didn't. I hope to read more from you soon.
----Prankstar -
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Great boost to my moral. Have you by chance ever been to the Devils Tower in Wyoming?
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You create a very vivid picture of it all. I love the wording!
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Vivid is what I strive toward. Glad you enjoyed!
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beautiful poem, your imagery is amazing, very well written i liked it alot x
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Glad you enjoyed. Thank you.
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a good poem penned, i like the imagery of the hosts of distant worlds, that really appeals to my mind
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed!
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Beautiful poem. Well done
Mariana
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Thanksiana!
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I read it over a few times and I can't think of anything I would change at all! Wonderful piece great write and I love the subject.. The soltice festivals are always great!
xo
Cy -
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I have yet to attend a solstice festival, but I'll try it out sometime. I think for me I tend to focus on personal solstice ceremonies. I sense that it's an important time for the natural world, and therefor for the nature within me, from which I'm manifest.
Glad you enjoyed.
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Written well.
Sounds like nature. -
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One small aspect of her, for certain.
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This is a very beautiful poem.Full of imagery and so wonderfully written.Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem.
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My pleasure, of course. Glad you were able to enjoy.
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Excellent imagery and a very good spiritual poem.
Good choice of words and a great flow.
Thanks for sharing! -
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Thanks.
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nice picture upheld in words of this Bear Tower. It is as if I can imagine myself watching the "wind falls on the cottonwoods
like a soft cool rain
sprinkled lightly upon the spirit
beneath clear skies"
or the "clearing away the dusk"
very pretty poem. all the bes -
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Glad you enjoyed. Yes it's a meaningful place, to myself and many.
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Is this bear tower in Dakota?
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That's Bear Butte. I'll have a different poem for my experience there before too long. This poem focuses on my experience at the Devils Tower. I didn't want to use any "devil" references in the poem or its title because I don't personally sense any negative influences on the place.
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a great visual is set up here. fantastic. the first stanza is amazing.
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Thanks! Glad you enjoyed.
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I really really REALLY like the form and pace of this poem. The format works well, but the wording you use keeps it constantly exciting- it starts off a slow expositions, quickens quickly and then settles down again at the end. I love it, no suggestions.
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Great thoughts. Glad you enjoyed this poem and the way it's laid out.
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I liked the imagery you used in this. It reminded me of a camping trip I took with my grandfather when I was about eight or nine.
Thanks for the words
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Glad you enjoyed. Hope you'll come again.
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not a very good write
you know when you are spending points.. they write should be well structured.
it has good part as well. thanks for sharing
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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Well structured? A teacher once told me, "Erin, until you learn the structure of poetry, you can't break the rules to any advantage."
This stuck with me, and stays with me even now. I spent eight years studying poetry, and practicing its structures--including the ghazal, which I have a feeling is something you've been exposed to.
Then, having boxed myself into the confines of angles and borders, I found myself breaking all the rules, whenever I cared to, and however I liked. But, my friend, I know the rules. I know them now like I know my own names, my place of birth, and when a storm approaches.
I try to be careful not to judge a poem before I've learned more about the poet. -
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I have been teaching Ghazal for last three years.
and I'm sorry, I didnt mean to make you upset.. may be i was not much alright.. and I read your poem and commented in such a way.. but I never meant to hurt you
forgive me
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I featured this man's poem because I admire his work, so there's that.
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Which was unexpected. A great boost to my moral. Thank you sir.
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I can complain for your ill mannered behavior
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I felt excitement and longing to be back in the wilderness as I read this. There was a clear sense of serenity, reverence and awe toward the majesty of nature.
You illustrated the day/night sky of the Solstice beautifully in the second stanza.
The sound of the drums at the end set a spiritual tone, which I carried on with my thoughts into subsequent readings of the poem.
It genuinely made me glad to have something new to read of yours today, especially on this subject.
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This poem was inspired by two nights spent camped out by the Devils Tower national monument in Wyoming. It's a place of magical proportions. I played my flute for the spirits of the place each day as we walked around the tower. The first walk was the short path around the base. The second walk was about 5 hours long, and followed the dirt path around the base of the pedestal upon which the tower sits.
Prayers are everywhere tied in the trees and bushes.
Something tells me you would really like "In Yolla Bolly", one of my personal all time favorites.
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Comforting
something reassuring in ancient places of power,
that can only be felt by hidden instincts.
Your choice of words were excellent.
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Thank you, Sir. We visited a few other places of power during our summer solstice journey. I have a feeling they'll find their way into poetic expression as well.
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this is a beautiful description of those three days at Devil's Tower. it was indeed a spiritual experience--and maybe, one that i needed--though i may not fully grasp it. perhaps, i don't even have to consciously understand it, but i feel for certain that a part of me is blessed.
thank you for sharing this experience with me, and thank you for immortalizing it through this beautiful poetry. they are both a treasure i will always hold close to my heart.
joy
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It was an experience we were meant for. I believe our lives will be changed and altered in a direction we never could have guessed now that we've allowed our angels to take us on this tour.
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