She can pull my heart at will,
though I’ve never seen her…
but I am lying… there was one picture,
with a bruise…
If I did see her, and she were walking lesions,
what would I do, what would I do…?
What if I first tried reaching
the seven year old in her…
or took on the role of her late father…
would she squirm? Would I care if she squirmed?
Just a long look…
that’s all that I would hope for…
that’s all my heart would hope for…
Then I would write her one,
right then and there…
and she would take it with her…
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Simply excellent
Excellent! (Enjoy the one word review, doesn't happen often....oops it's not one word anymore). Okay, how about you consider everything after the first word an afterthought?
Beautiful, beautiful moment of the long, long look. It must be universal. You must have struck a universal chord this time. Deep down, it is what we long for---the long look in silence that stirs our souls to sing---all in the moment, one precious moment. Oh, dear, are you the kindest man on Earth? You would let us take it with us! The moment is taken, my friend. This poem is simply excellent.
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Touching, man, seriously.
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-tackle hug - thank you. you have always been an inspiration to me too.
much love, dear friend.
btw, i think you could work with this style.
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this 'style' is you and I- I could not do it elsewhere... (maybe another reason for my request, for I could sail quite far with it...) thank you much...
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Just a long look...
To be able to soak someone up like that, to satisfy that curiosity, that desire.. I know that feeling well. Your affection shines brightly in your words.
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well, corner cafe at 3 then, outside table, we will have a soaking contest...
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You'd win... I've never been good at 'soaking' contests. I blush and look away
lol
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then I guess I would stir my latte and smile...
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and rejoice in your victory
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Very touching write you have here. Sadness, and a little longing, I think. Not what I usually see from you. Nice.
Amy
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and 
and ..... and sigh....and ....
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hello, eternally blooming niece who can see more clearly than I- this is a writer I took an interest in long ago here, so long ago, you were still riding llamas and solving bungee physics... and you know, I, the ever-cheery lightbulb, go wherever I see a genuine need for light... i guess they are my dragons to slay...
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So.... I guess now you know I always read your comments.... but: "riding llamas and solving bungee physics..." wajama what!?!?!?!
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(poetry niece from days of old... and you can see the positive influence I had on her...!)
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Oh, Goodness, I apologise for the comment - I assumed.....well.....perhaps you know what I assumed.
Anyway. I still ride llamas.
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this is facsinating....i am not sure which way to take this....and you know what i am liking that. This was such a different poem and the way you use your words is damn right creative!
"If I did see her, and she was walking lesions,
what would I do, what would I do…?" Such a picture that painted in my head i really loved it...oh yeah and the background is awesome as well....please keep writing this was a piece to read again...much <3....scars. -
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thank you for the comment, intriguing that we share similar fascinations... this piece is reality-driven- it is actually for another writer here that I interact with and that I do find, among other things, fascinating... and I do hope myself that there is more to come...
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I kinda thought that it was about something along those lines but i love that i could twist it in diferent ways...kinda like a rubix cube...you have such a different style I am glad i stumbled upon it. much <3..scars....ps....good luck with her <3 <3
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