sometimes i wish it had never begun

sometimes i wish it had never begun.

but here i am, lost.
afraid of a new beginning,
but so incredibly tired of the same song
the one that begins soft and beautiful
and continues in a gorgeous cresendo
of proclamations of love that span beyond the horizon
before coming to a disconcerted haphazard end
shattered in a muddle of empty space.

and that's where you left me, ungracefully dumped.
with words on my lips of loving again
unfearfully, unrestrained. but it has yet to happen
as i am regrettably haunted by your ghost.
the good times attack my mind, flooding dreams
and leave me confused because i tell myself i've moved on
don't leave me with this song.

Author notes

this has been weighing me down so hard since i heard this song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXe1jpHPnUs
"maybe i'm just too young to keep good love from going wrong..." love sucks.

i've been trying so hard to let go, to move on, to forget, to forgive, but what can i do? tonight i broke that promise to myself that i was done shedding tears over him. it's over, though, there is no turning back now.